Meeting a compatible person for a relationship can seem out of reach at times for singles in the dating scene. Dating can be difficult, as anyone will tell you who has experienced online dating disasters or grueling blind dates set up by well-meaning friends.
For those who are more spiritually sensitive than average or actively involved in personal growth and the self-realization process (e.g., prefer to search deeply into the meaning of life), dating can be even more challenging due to the increased tendency to see things as they are, rather than as they would like them to be. The following perspectives about dating while on a spiritual path can help make dating more fun and productive.
1) It’s easy to get caught up in hopes and expectations when dating, but the best policy is to drop them. Knowing what works for you, yet at the same time surrendering and accepting your situation as it is and accepting any person you meet as they are will make dating far more pleasant. For example, you can accept that people who avoid inner searching and self-help methods are are going to view you as an extraterrestrial when you tell them about the visions you see during meditation. Luckily, you have free will to edit your conversations and be more selective about who you date.
2) Try not to feel insulted when you read someone’s personal ad who responded to yours and intuitively conclude they are lying about some of their profile statistics or that their pictures are probably ten years old. Calling them on it will only cause conflict, so just accept that the type of person who misrepresents themselves in a personal ad isn’t going to acknowledge the hassles it creates and might very well behave this way in other parts of their life.
3) During the first phone conversation with a new dating possibility, don’t take it personally when they ask you 100 interview questions to see if you qualify for the part in the relationship play they are casting. Unlike you, they’re not making an attempt to intuitively sense the compatibility and are likely trying to fit you into what they want rather than accepting you as you are.
4) During the first face-to-face meeting, try not to share the clear, past life visions you see of the person as a cruel, Roman slave-driver long ago. They couldn’t possibly understand that you really did know them in a previous lifetime or that one of the reasons you could not bring yourself to date them in this one is because you were one of their badly treated slaves.
5) Likewise, until you know they are open to the possibility of reincarnation and past lives, try to refrain, at least during the first few dates, from informing them that you two were passionate lovers in a past life.
This kind of news, while exciting for you, may seem too weird to them. The same goes for the information about your lifetime as a booze smuggler, pickpocket, or opium addict. As amusing as the stories could be, they just wouldn’t understand.
6) When they are telling you about how their previous relationships ended because of how horrible their partners were, but you see right through their version of the truth and sense the real story–how it’s because this person couldn’t be honest or monogamous to save their life–keep it to yourself. Vocalizing what you sense would only spark discord.
7) When this person (from number 6 above) suddenly tells you, on the first date, that you’re the only person they want and that they’d “never” cheat on you, take it with a grain of salt. They mean well, but don’t know themselves well enough to know better. If they did, they would be honest with themselves and be upfront about how they prefer sexual variety.
8) Go easy on them. Due to your heightened awareness, in part, from the all the work you’ve done on yourself, you may understand them better than they understand themselves, so it may be like relating to a child at times.
9) Try not to laugh when your date, who you strongly suspect (after getting to know them somewhat) would lie, steal, or cheat to get what they want, says, “I believe in karma.” They don’t yet understand that everything you do, even if you don’t get caught, comes back to you.
10) As the date (from number 9 above) starts digging for information about your net worth or how much money you make (with dollar signs sparkling in their eyes), just smile and say, “the Universe is my checkbook.” When it comes time to pay for your drinks, resist the urge to skip out the back door and leave them with the check and remind yourself that this would create bad karma and tie you to someone you’d rather avoid.
11) Luckily, you can save time by using meditation and intuition to screen potential dates. Don’t cancel a date just because you sense they may not be the love of your life, but if you get several clues that the person isn’t ready to date, for example, don’t be afraid to cancel. Just be sure to be considerate and let them know you’re canceling or that too will create negative karma.
12) It may be better to wait for a more appropriate time to share how you psychically perceived them to be, within 5 minutes of meeting on the first date, a very expressive and generous lover. While some people would be flattered, many would not like feeling so transparent to a stranger.
13) Be grateful when someone dumps you. They probably weren’t right for you anyway and you are now free to meet someone who doesn’t think you’re crazy because you trust your intuition.
14) Your heightened awareness may seem like a curse at times, like when you wake up one morning and suddenly, intuitively, and mysteriously know the fated outcome of a relationship after only two dates. Just be grateful for it, as it can save a lot of time and heartbreak.
15) When you crave a relationship and feel a great sense of lack without one, remind yourself that dating and love relationships are an addiction for many and self-actualization methods, such as meditation, can be a cure.
16) Keep in mind that the more personal growth work you do on yourself, the fewer people there will be who are compatible. The payoff for becoming more self-actualized can be more enjoyment of being single, and a more fulfilling and less taxing relationship when you do meet a compatible person.
17) When you do meet someone with whom you share compatibility and chemistry, and your new significant other asks you what you see for your future together, it may be best to simply remind them (and yourself) to just enjoy the moment rather than worrying about whether or not the relationship will last as long as desired.
Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo