How to end a long-term relationship? It’s never easy, especially when you’ve built your lives around each other and you thought it would last forever.
Before you end a long-term relationship, make sure you’ve done all you can to salvage it. In addition to solution-based communication (rather than just complaining) and counseling, here are two more ideas you may not have considered:
1) Totally commit to doing all you can for physical and spiritual self-improvement, such as daily exercise, avoiding processed foods and sugar, and regular meditation. This will help you realize the best in both of you, which may bring you closer together. If not, you’ll be able to part on friendlier terms. If your partner is not willing to participate, it may be another indication that it’s over.
2) Experience past life regression, together and separately. This will shed a lot of light on your relationship dynamics and explain the deeper feelings you have for the relationship and each other. You don’t have to believe in past life regression for this exercise to be beneficial; consider it metaphorical if you wish. It will also remind you that everyone has many soul mates, most are not meant to be life-long, why you were meant to come together again, and why your time together, at least as a traditional, LTR, may be destined to end.
Next, be absolutely certain before you end a long-term relationship. Here’s a great article about how to decide when to end a relationship.
Once you are certain it’s over, here’s how not to end a long-term relationship:
1) Cheat–If you do this it will just cause more conflict and everyone will blame the demise of your relationship on infidelity, which is often only a symptom of the other problems. An aside, it’s interesting that few people ever blame the end of a long-term relationship on strict monogamy.
2) Delay ending the relationship because you don’t want to hurt him. It will just be more difficult the longer you wait.
3) Be a jerk, hoping she will dump you. This creates even more problems.
4) Fail to communicate about the problems.
5) Pretend everything is fine and then leave without any explanation. This is cowardly, unfair to your ex, and will cause you negative karma.
How to end a long-term relationship, when you are ready to make the announcement:
1) Choose the right time and place.
2) Be direct, yet polite and compassionate, even if he is not. Avoid criticizing and blaming. You don’t want to create any negative karma in the process of leaving (the act of breaking-up itself does not–see this article for more information).
3) Remind her that you’ve done all you can, you two are not compatible enough for a relationship, it’s best to move on, and that if you remain together, it will prevent you both from finding people who are more compatible.
Now that you have a better idea about how to end a long-term relationship, you can help your partner and yourself do so in the best way possible.
What Never To Do When Dumped and What To Do Instead
Three Common But Terrible Reasons For Seeking or Remaining in a Relationship
Marriage: 90% of Couples Aren’t Compatible Enough and 6 Tips to Deal With it
Many Forms of Infidelity
Can Two People Be Incompatible?
Copyright © 2013 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo