Recently, someone e-mailed the following feedback and question about fate, free will, and psychics to us:

“First, I want to say that the older I get the more I believe you are right that the major events in our life were planned by us before we reincarnated. While many may find this frustrating and not want to believe that they don’t have total control over their future, I actually find it comforting.

“There have been many times in my life where I have put forth great effort professionally and personally and things just didn’t work out despite how hard I tried. It’s actually comforting to a large extent to know that those things just weren’t meant to be and there is a larger plan for me.

“Unlike other people who may find your philosophy off putting or limiting I like knowing that the next step or steps in my life are inevitable (if I understand you correctly) as long as I put one step in front of the other and take action and do my best along the way.

“I wanted to ask though, I have been to psychics before and many of them have been quite accurate in predicting events in my life though their timing has been off, why is it that many psychics believe that the future is not fixed and free will can change anything? This actually frustrates me when they say this because I don’t agree!

“Major events in my life have unfolded despite my ‘free will’ and efforts to change them. I just don’t believe things are ALWAYS in my control. You would think a psychic would realize this? Why is it so many don’t?”

Our Response

We believe it’s important to always proactively take appropriate action and assertively strive to reach your goals, yet also realize that the belief of being able to entirely “control your destiny” is largely futile and an ego-self construct.

Directing your destiny is about taking the most appropriate action (free will), which is innately part of your destiny, and also directing your future life destiny through doing the right thing now–destiny is something that extends beyond this life, into future lives.

As we always recommend, keep forging ahead in the direction you feel is optimum.

We believe the major events in your life are predestined, as is meeting the major players. The minor ones may not be, unless they influence you greatly. For example, if you have a “chance” conversation with a stranger who gives you information that leads you to significantly change your life direction, that was likely destined. You then used your free will to achieve your destiny; you moved in that direction and made those choices because they felt like the best options (such decisions hardly seem like “choices”).

You would think that most psychics would tell you that many of your future life circumstances, events, and conditions are set in stone, if they really can predict the future. However, many of them don’t, for one or more of these reasons:

1. They don’t know any better.
2. They don’t want to disappoint you.
3. They don’t want to believe it themselves.
4. They want an excuse as to why their prediction didn’t manifest and it’s easier to blame it on the faulty “nothing is set in stone” myth, or you for “not taking the right path” or “not trying hard enough.”

So what do you do? Keep doing everything you can to reach your goals, yet take comfort in knowing that there is much in life that you can’t alter or avoid, and that your energy is better allocated toward embracing and working with your fate instead of attempting to override it.

Copyright © 2011 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo