Strife is a fact of life. No matter how much you try to get along with certain individuals in your life, disharmony prevails. It’s like they are driven by a demonic lord to make your life difficult.

Good news! You can’t rid yourself completely of the bad apples in your life, but you can change your perspective and therefore escape the harsh effects of those seemingly darkly influenced people.

Below are five tips to deal effectively with difficult people:

1. Generate compassion. Realize that they are difficult because it’s very possible they are dealing with their own personal demons. It could be anything from early life abuse, to addictions, to deep depression, to actual demonic influence (or all of the above). It’s also likely that if they were to experience directly the negativity they exude, they would be shocked; they may not even realize the extent of the abuse they inflict on others.

2. Accept that you can’t change how they are and that no matter who you were, they would still act the way they do. Don’t take it personally. Stop expecting that person to treat you like you want to be treated. Eventually, even if it is not until that person leaves this world, they will fully realize the pain they have generated. Don’t worry about trying to make them see the wrongs they inflict, that will take care of itself.

3. Detach from the circumstance. In other words, see it happening from outside of yourself, like you’re watching a dramatic soap opera: “Oh, look, there goes so and so again, giving me a hard time.” In doing so, you may even deflate the other person’s cruelty to the point where they might begin to look for someone else to harass instead of you.

4. Avoid reacting negatively, maintain composure and a positive attitude, and even smile if you can manage it. Whatever you do, avoid revenge. If you really feel like responding to that person, do it later, such as through e-mail or text. Write a few notes to yourself immediately after a negative interaction and then think about how to best phrase the e-mail content later.

Also, it’s much easier to keep in control and maintain your cool if you’re getting enough good sleep and exercise, and maintain a healthy diet. It also helps to arm yourself spiritually. Imagine yourself engulfed in a protective spiritual bubble of white Light and ask for help from guides and helpers of the Light on the other side.

5. Consider the opportunity, as unpleasant as it is, as a spiritual test. While it may be true that the other person is incurring negative karma by being difficult, you very well may have some karmic links to their behavior and how it affects you. We believe important life circumstances, the bad and good, aren’t random; they are part of your predetermined karmic framework and it’s up to you to deal with them constructively.

We recommend that, aside from expressing gratitude for the rewards and beauty of life, you view life as a series of tests and opportunities and approach it with compassion and faith. In doing so, you increase your spiritual power, win the game, and when you encounter those unruly souls again, whether on the other side or in a future life, you won’t have to endure a similar test again.

Copyright © 2012 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo