Some people need and, or want variety (statistics show it’s a lot more than some), or find that one person cannot meet all their needs and are better off not trying to be monogamous. It’s also a waste of energy to attempt to force these types to remain exclusive with you, which may be about as effective as them trying to force you to be happily non-monogamous.
Trying to make someone live within your relationship ideals is not unconditional love, and controlling behavior will incur negative karma. If you’ve been involved with someone who can’t or won’t be monogamous, you may want to ask yourself why you chose, on a subconscious level, to become involved with them. It just might be possible you’re naturally more non-monogamous.
As a reminder, safe-sex every time is a good idea if you have any doubts whatsoever about whether or not your partner is being monogamous.
Not much is ever mentioned about the spiritual side-effects of casual sex. If you’re spiritually sensitive, it’s possible to pick up others’ negative energy from your lover if he or she strays, especially if it’s done with negative emotions such as guilt or anger, which weakens a person’s spiritual defenses. For this reason, among others, some feel that demanding strict monogamy can be more harmful than helpful. But fear of negative energy is a weak excuse to try to force a lover into monogamy, since you can inadvertently pick up cosmic garbage in numerous ways and it’s relatively easy to cleanse and protect yourself.
Whether you are monogamous or not, it’s a good idea to protect yourself from dark energies. Meditation and visualizing yourself being cleansed and guarded with white Light are two methods. Avoiding drugs and excess alcohol will make you spiritually stronger. If you would like more help we recommend our Spiritual Detox recording.
“Does he/she really love me?”
Love means many different things to different people, and everyone expresses it differently. If you want someone to love you the way you love them, it may not be realistic. Consider why you are asking this question. If you have doubts about their sincerity, it may be time to move on. Otherwise, if you have a burning need to be someone’s “one and only” and you require them to voice their steadfast devotion to you on a regular basis, consider therapy.
“Is he/she my soul mate?”
He or she is most likely one of them, since everyone has many. If you’re looking for “The One” who you’ll be with “together forever,” we recommend a different approach. It’s okay to know what you want, but try to allow each dating situation to unfold naturally instead of trying to mold it into your fantasy or the ideal.
“When will he/she come back to me?”
When people ask if it’s a good idea to get back together with an ex or if the ex is coming back, 90% of the time the answer is “no.” If one or both of them are under age 30 or so, we’ve found it to be “no” 99% of the time.
When it’s over, it’s over, and if they left, usually they’ve already made up their mind and no amount of begging, manipulating, or hoping will change that. If you’re the one who left, you likely did so for good reasons. Remember those reasons and try to let go of any fears about being on your own again. Going back to someone who is not compatible is never a good idea.
If your lover left, you have a choice; resist and create more unhappiness for yourself, or accept it and let go. It won’t be easy at first, but once you accept that it’s over (completely, or at least for now) and move on, you will be in a position to consider if it’s really in your and their best interest to get back together. The answer is often “no.”
Depending on your outlook, this may or may not be good news for you: through our research we’ve found that everyone has many soul mates.
“We met online but haven’t met in-person yet. Is there a future for our relationship?”
We determine through our readings and analyses levels of compatibility and if a couple’s interaction will be shorter or longer-term, but if you’ve never actually met, it’s not really a relationship. If you’ve met more than a few online contestants in-person, you may have realized by now that it’s usually not a good idea to spend more than a couple weeks emailing or an hour or two talking on the phone with someone you’ve never met in person; if there is no face-to-face chemistry (which is very difficult to determine by email or phone), it will be awkward and you’ll feel like you only wasted time. Experienced online daters will likely understand why we say this.
Copyright © 2008 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo