We receive many inquiries from people agonizing over the choice between staying in an unhappy, unsatisfying relationship or leaving and potentially being alone. The majority of them are more worried about being alone for the rest of their lives and because of this, remain stuck in their relationships.

There are other options, as we outline below, especially if you are willing to view your situation from a more spiritual perspective.

Case study problem #1:

“When I was 25 I met the love of my life, John, yet he broke up with me after 2 years. We remained best friends and the affair never really ended. I always compared everyone to him, and he always came back to me when in trouble. Eventually, we got back together. I’ve caught him cheating four times in the last three years and I don’t know if I can take it again, but the idea of being on my own seems worse to me….”

Traditional thinking and solution:

Turn a blind eye to your partner’s infidelities and be grateful you have someone in your life. You’ve invested all this time together and it would be a shame to throw it all away.

Alternative Suggestion:

You are allowing him to continue to disrespect you because you’re afraid to be alone. Though your situation is karmic, it’s in your best interest to use your free will to react compassionately. Take back your power, be strong, and bow out. You will be free to work on yourself and eventually meet someone who is more respectful and compatible.

How much time you’ve invested with each other is never a good reason to stay together, especially if he’s betraying your trust. Look at it this way, the spiritual (most important) reasons for relationships are about learning, understanding, and growth; how long they last is irrelevant. Many people place great importance on the length of a relationship, but if it’s done it’s done, even if a couple stays together. Besides, as soon as he betrayed your trust, the relationship died as you knew it. As far as him being the love of your life, you don’t know that for sure until the end of your life.

Alternative Suggestion:

If you can’t live without him (and you probably can), redefine the relationship and tell him his actions have shown you that he cannot or will not be monogamous. Since the problem with cheating is ultimately more about dishonesty than sex (other than insecurity about the loss of a partner or fear of disease), your relationship may work, in a different form, if he is willing to be brutally honest when he feels like straying, and does so safely and responsibly. But you would need to be very adult-like in how you handle his confessions, and it’s likely that he would not be able to handle you dating other people. Both of you seeing this all from a spiritual perspective (everyone has many soul mates, no one owns anyone, sex is not love and doesn’t have to be exclusive to traditional love relationships, sex purely for the enjoyment of sex between two consenting adults is perfectly acceptable, etc.) would also help a lot.

Case study problem #2:

“I didn’t automatically ‘click’ with my boyfriend Jason, yet we shared a world view, and we ended up moving in together and building a life. He’s the most loving and genuine man I’ve ever met, yet I often think about the bond I had with a previous lover that doesn’t seem to be there with Jason. I’ve considered ending it, but I don’t want to be alone and I worry that perhaps I’m asking for too much, and running after a dream that isn’t real…”

Traditional thinking and solution:

You can’t have everything in a relationship, and you should feel lucky that you’ve found a good person to be with.

Alternative Suggestion:

Though it’s good to realize that “Prince Charming” or the perfect partner does not exist, your attraction to Jason is based on your logical mind reasoning about why you should like him, should be attracted to him, and should feel that connection with him.

But as you know, you don’t feel that connection with him. It’s either there, or it isn’t, and between you two, it’s not. This is not your fault or his, it just is what is. Perhaps you cite a fear of hurting his feelings as the reason why you don’t break up with him. After all, he is such a nice guy.

Think of your situation this way: you are being selfish. Breaking up with him would be doing him a favor; he would be available for someone more compatible with whom he would share that special connection that you two don’t have. The comprehensive numerology and astrology natal and timing charts, along with psychic insight, tell us you both are better off as friends.

If you are unhappily involved or single and fear being alone it’s within your power and your free will to learn to love your time alone. But first you must confront the fear of solitude and discover its origins. Even if past lives are just metaphors in your subconscious mind, regression therapy can help, as can meditation.

Copyright © 2008 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Many people spend so much time and energy on their love lives, striving for the ideal relationship. While self-love is the only true love in our view, it’s understandable why the feeling of being loved and accepted by another is so desirable.

Along the path to finding compatible love, everyone has their share of adverse relationship experiences and some people are fated to have more than others. Although challenging love connections seem to only complicate your life, in time it’s easier to see how they’ve helped you learn and grow.

Sometimes the best path seems to be to go forward with a challenging relationship even if you are aware ahead of time that it could be problematic. Other times a relationship may seem wonderful at first, but then you realize you didn’t know the person (or yourself) as well as you thought you did, you end up bringing out the worst in each other, or you simply grow apart.

Our research and work firmly indicate “negative” relationship situations are karmic. Even so, ultimately you do have free will to react to the situations and conditions in your life, and the more in tune with yourself you are, the easier it will be to choose and navigate your relationships with compassion and understanding.

Self-Exploration, and Relationship Traditions

If you avoid self-exploration and solitude at all costs, and you place great importance on relationship traditions, it will be much more difficult for you to avoid the bad apples and emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and, or psychically draining relationships. A fear of being alone and an avoidance of self-analysis will cause you to overlook obvious signs and become involved with or remain with people who, all things considered, work against you.

As discerned through astrological and numerological comprehensive charting methods, handwriting analysis, and psychic insight, some people are born much more relationship oriented, with scarce emotional independence (or are even prone to codependence). Hence, situations involving unhealthy relationships decisively manifest as part of their predestined path. Though even in these cases, they have the option of using free will to make the most of it all.

If you fit into this category, one possible remedy to help limit toxic  relationships is having goals that supersede “The One” ideal. School, career, your children, fitness, volunteering, hobbies, or other such things on which to focus your time and energy could help you make better decisions in your love life by helping you to detach and view it all from a higher perspective. At the same time, we’ve found that people will do as they are fated to do time and time again, but at least awareness can assuage dilemmas and you can work within your destined framework for more desirable effects.

Knowing Thyself and Meditation

If you are one of the few who know themselves very well on levels other than conscious understanding, or meditate regularly to the point of consistently experiencing divine insights, you’ll be able to perceive quite a bit about potential matches before getting involved with them. This will also give you a head start in how you approach and respond to people and situations in your life, allowing you to use your free will more constructively.

For example, after meeting a new relationship, friendship, or employment possibility, you’ll be able to more easily pause, step back, contemplate the situation, and consider if it’s worth the time and energy and if it would be supportive of your goals. But maybe you’re also wise enough to know that one’s heart can interfere with decision-making.

Metaphysical Tools, Advisers, and Eremites

If you consult with a metaphysical adviser or even actively apply tools such as astrology, numerology, handwriting analysis, or tarot, or work with dream analysis, for example, you may know quite a bit about potential matches even before you meet them. Higher than average psychic abilities can also allow you to perceive the “good” and “bad,” or at least what you need to know, about people and situations ahead of time. Unfortunately, this may often cause you to be forced to decide between the complexities of the connection and being alone, and remaining single may seem like the better choice more often than not.

This dynamic could partially explain why “wise women,” “old sages,” and other mystically inclined individuals are often depicted as living alone, such as in the forest or on a mountain top; they see beyond the surface, detect the spiritual reasons at the start, and opting out might seem more appealing. Of course, they may also be alone because they enjoy it, their collective natal and timing indications symbolically choose this for them, they are simply taking a break between relationships, or they have so many friends (guides, spirits, etc.) in the unseen dimensions that taking on ones in the here and now may seem unnecessary or pose too much of a burden.

There will always be “good” and “bad” apples in the barrel of your love life and in the rest of your life. Expanding your awareness will help guide you to make smarter choices, and when the only option is a connection that lacks a reasonable level of compatibility, use your free will to accept where you are and navigate to a better place. Although due to your personal fate, you may not be able to manifest more desirable circumstances right away, but eventually you’ll be able to make the best of even the most trying times.

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo