Most people realize, upon maturity, that seeking a perfect relationship is futile. Another strategy is necessary in order to be happy, since it’s impossible to achieve and always maintain excellent emotional, mental, and sexual compatibility.
Viewing relationships from a spiritual viewpoint offers the opportunity for a better union, considering you make the considerable effort to do so. It’s not easy to exercise complete acceptance of that which you can’t change, including your partner’s behavior and idiosyncratic traits.
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” —Laurence J Peter
Romantic love is an illusion with inherent conditions and demands, but spiritual love is purely unconditional.
A better relationship, in a spiritual sense, is yours for the taking if you embrace the following three theories.
1. Your soul is a separate entity from your personality, and each has potentially different agendas. The more aligned you are with your soul’s blueprint, that which it chooses before incarnating, and the less rooted in ego-self demands, the more at peace you are with your life.
Those who strive for a spiritual relationship acknowledge that what they desire may not be part of their soul’s plan. For instance, a life-long, mutually agreeable love life relationship may be desired, but few obtain it.
There’s nobody to blame, including yourself, for holding onto unrealistic fantasies about relationships. The notion of an ideal love seems to be ingrained in the unconscious, perhaps encouraged by romantic fairytales, songs, and movies, but it’s up to you to separate fiction from reality.
Relationships can still end even if you follow all of the following conventional advice–you make plans, and God laughs, as the saying goes: let go of the little things that bother you; try to be more positive and happy; don’t complain about your partner behind his or her back; be vocal about your needs; write down your concerns before speaking with your partner and say it with a smile and compassion when you do; have alone time; be kind to each other; trust each other; be polite—say “thank you,” please,” and “you’re welcome.”
Consider your soul to be the wise being it is, and your personality, with all its ego-self demands, to be the child. On the other side before incarnating, your soul may plan three long-term love life relationships. Yet if your personality refuses to let go of the first one after the divorce, you may hinder your spiritual progress.
2. The law of karma dictates rewards and challenges in life. Those who strive for a spiritual relationship acknowledge that personal adversity, including that in your love life, is an unavoidable part of life.
“He is your friend who pushes you nearer to God.” ―Abraham Kuyper
For example, Jonas does everything in his power to maintain the connection with his mate, but eventually, wisely, comes to the conclusion that it just wasn’t meant to be because his mate wants out. Chalk it up to karma, Jonas says, being the toughest breakup of his life, though he is grateful for the experience and the inherent lessons. In such a mindset, Jonas avoids prolonging the negative karma he had to balance regarding a tough break-up. He knows it may also be his karma to then experience a wonderful, lasting relationship, so he maintains faith and gratitude for the good that will be in his life.
By the way, enduring challenges in life doesn’t necessarily mean you were a bad person in a previous life, such as a dishonest lothario, in the case involving Jonas’s breakup above. It’s not always a simple explanation. Negative karma may be absent from the equation and it may just be that your soul chose that particular relationship, then the difficult breakup, so that you would then continue on a different, more important path for other key lessons.
3. Your subconscious mind dominates your life. Everyone has his or her own unique unconscious beliefs, defenses, and fears. Those seeking a spiritual relationship understand this and avoid trying to change his or her partner.
For instance, here’s just a partial list of some of the more common fears and defenses that are usually so ingrained that it’s futile to try to change the person: resentment; prejudice; evasiveness; domineering tendencies; insincerity; defiance; vanity; deceit; rationalization; and conflict avoidance.
You can have a fantastic compatibility connection as symbolized by the astrology and numerology timing and natal patterns, but unfortunately, if your partner possesses severe problematic subconscious fears and, or defenses, it makes the connection an uphill battle.
An individual can admirably, sincerely attempt to change. But generally, if you want a rewarding relationship, you’re going to have to just accept your partner’s faults. Nobody is perfect.
Spiritually speaking, a better relationship is yours if you follow the advice above.
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Copyright © 2019 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo