Tag Archives: love life tips

8 Tips to Avoid Ruining Your Love Life in 2014

Share Button

It’s that time of year again. Countless Valentine’s Day ads remind you of your happy love life, or if you’re like most people, your less than perfect romantic life.

Contrary to the implications of this commercial holiday, there’s nothing wrong with being single, or having a non-traditional relationship.

No matter what your love life status, here are some love life tips you can use year-round to make the most of it.

1) Accept how your love life is right now. This isn’t easy, so you’ll have to repeatedly remind yourself, especially when it seems like your circumstances couldn’t get worse. Once you accept being single or your relationship as it is, it will be easier to cherish the good things about your situation, and sometimes that will encourage change for the better.

2) Accept that you don’t need someone else to make you happy. You are all you need, believe it or not. Once you understand this, a relationship becomes an added bonus rather than a narcotic drug you can’t live without. Love addicts experience the crash and yearning for more far more often than the high.

3) Learn to not care about what other people think about your love life. It’s really none of their business. Do what makes you happy, even if it’s not the norm. If you don’t, you’ll have regrets at the end of your life.

4) Don’t fall for the “one and only soul mate” lie. Some love life experts claim to have the key to finding “the one,” “your twin soul,” and other fanciful love life goals. We’ve found through our years of empirical research that everyone has many soul mates, and most of them are not meant to result in a life-long, blissful relationship.

5) Don’t fall for the “together forever” fantasy. Sure, it’s possible, and in rare cases couples do grow old together without great suffering and sacrifices that make them die inside. Unfortunately, most couples who commit at a very young age find that they’re not compatible enough for a traditional relationship after five, ten, or twenty years. Couples in prior generations had to remain together due to sociological and economical reasons. Today, singles and couples have more options, and that’s a good thing. The length of a relationship isn’t important; what you learn and the love you give is.

6) Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have an ideal relationship, the type of love life that some celebrities seem to have as described in the media. Like an airbrushed photo, what they present to the world and the reality might be two different things. In fact, in some cases, you might be shocked to know the truth about the relationship.

7) Consider karma and fate. Even if you use your free will to do all you can to improve your love life, and you should, things won’t always go as you hope due to the ever-present laws of karma and fate. This doesn’t mean you’re being punished, but it might mean that you’re going through a learning phase now for a more wonderful love experience later.

8) Lighten up and relax! It’s so easy to get caught up in your routine and be stressed out from the responsibilities of life. But if you don’t take “me time” to relax, rejuvenate, and become centered, whether it’s through meditation or other ways, it’s more difficult to present your best, beautiful self to your partner or a new potential love interest.

Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo

21 Tips to Save Your Teen and Yourself From Love Life Grief, Part I of III

Share Button

We get many questions from young adults about love life dilemmas. So many of them fall into traps that could have been avoided with good guidance and advice. It leaves one wondering, “Didn’t their parents or mentors help them distinguish love life fantasies from reality?”

Sadly, many parents still don’t know the difference and as we explain below, it’s an easy mistake to make.

The good news is that you can make enormous progress in your love life by altering your perception and taking a new approach which we hope to help you do with this information.

After over 25 years of empirical research involving relationships, spirituality, personality and compatibility assessment, including observing thousands of love relationships as a matchmaker and writing a book about soul mates, we’ve come to the following conclusions that will help you and your children avoid unnecessary and self-inflicted sorrow. Of course, sometimes kids won’t take your advice and will need to experience mistakes first hand in order to learn, but at least you may plant a seed.

Parents, please help your teen and young adult children become aware of the following love life tips. You may save them a lot of grief. Note: some of this information may completely conflict with your love life hopes and dreams. Even if you disagree with some or many of these tips, we encourage you to consider them as you observe your and others’ love lives. As harsh as some of them may sound, we’re merely relaying our findings and we’d rather have you be aware of them to lower your risk of heartache or worse.

1) Most people have embraced as reality, thanks in part to nearly everyone around them doing the same, love life fairy-tales perpetuated by romantic songs, movies, and TV shows. Every so often a romantic fairy-tale occurs (and lasts) in real life, such as an unusually rewarding love connection, but it’s certainly not the norm and it’s best to remind yourself, especially when first smitten by a new love interest, that it is only one possible outcome. When you accept that each relationship is for a different reason, one that is not always obvious at first, it’s easier to enjoy the individual fruits of each and you won’t be disappointed due to unrealistic expectations.

2) Make your education and career your number one priority and follow your passions and talents when you’re young. If you spend all your time and energy on a relationship, especially one that is rocky because you don’t yet know yourself well or what works for you, you may regret it when you are 40 or 50 and struggling with your career and, or finances. For now, think of your love life as a side dish that compliments the rest of your life rather than the main course.

3) Avoid assuming someone is “the love of your life.” You won’t know who that is until the last day of your life.

4) Acknowledge the myth of the “one and only soul mate.” Everyone has many, and most are not compatible enough for a harmonious, life-long relationship. Also, there’s no such thing as a “twin soul” or your “other half.” You are complete and whole on your own, even if you don’t realize it yet.

5) Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to be married by a certain age, or giving too much thought to missed opportunities or “the one who got away.” It’s an all too common trap to project dreams and fantasies onto someone you don’t know or can’t have and it may very well be that a relationship with that person wouldn’t have been favorable for you anyway.

You have free will to pursue your love life goals, but trying to control the outcome too much will just add more stress to your already hectic everyday life. Our findings indicate that everyone meets who they are meant to meet, when they are meant to meet them, and it will last for as long as it’s meant to, so try to relax and perceive each situation in a positive light, even when it doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped.

6) Don’t wait for the chemistry to magically appear. It’s either there between two people, or it’s not. If it’s not or if it’s a troubling connection, move on. Don’t be afraid to be single; it’s better than wasting time with someone who isn’t good for you.

7) Don’t hang on to a relationship that has ended or just wasn’t meant to be. Accept that it’s over, let go and move on or you’ll block other, more compatible, future relationships.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo