Tag Archives: soul mate

8 Tips to Avoid Ruining Your Love Life in 2014

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It’s that time of year again. Countless Valentine’s Day ads remind you of your happy love life, or if you’re like most people, your less than perfect romantic life.

Contrary to the implications of this commercial holiday, there’s nothing wrong with being single, or having a non-traditional relationship.

No matter what your love life status, here are some love life tips you can use year-round to make the most of it.

1) Accept how your love life is right now. This isn’t easy, so you’ll have to repeatedly remind yourself, especially when it seems like your circumstances couldn’t get worse. Once you accept being single or your relationship as it is, it will be easier to cherish the good things about your situation, and sometimes that will encourage change for the better.

2) Accept that you don’t need someone else to make you happy. You are all you need, believe it or not. Once you understand this, a relationship becomes an added bonus rather than a narcotic drug you can’t live without. Love addicts experience the crash and yearning for more far more often than the high.

3) Learn to not care about what other people think about your love life. It’s really none of their business. Do what makes you happy, even if it’s not the norm. If you don’t, you’ll have regrets at the end of your life.

4) Don’t fall for the “one and only soul mate” lie. Some love life experts claim to have the key to finding “the one,” “your twin soul,” and other fanciful love life goals. We’ve found through our years of empirical research that everyone has many soul mates, and most of them are not meant to result in a life-long, blissful relationship.

5) Don’t fall for the “together forever” fantasy. Sure, it’s possible, and in rare cases couples do grow old together without great suffering and sacrifices that make them die inside. Unfortunately, most couples who commit at a very young age find that they’re not compatible enough for a traditional relationship after five, ten, or twenty years. Couples in prior generations had to remain together due to sociological and economical reasons. Today, singles and couples have more options, and that’s a good thing. The length of a relationship isn’t important; what you learn and the love you give is.

6) Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have an ideal relationship, the type of love life that some celebrities seem to have as described in the media. Like an airbrushed photo, what they present to the world and the reality might be two different things. In fact, in some cases, you might be shocked to know the truth about the relationship.

7) Consider karma and fate. Even if you use your free will to do all you can to improve your love life, and you should, things won’t always go as you hope due to the ever-present laws of karma and fate. This doesn’t mean you’re being punished, but it might mean that you’re going through a learning phase now for a more wonderful love experience later.

8) Lighten up and relax! It’s so easy to get caught up in your routine and be stressed out from the responsibilities of life. But if you don’t take “me time” to relax, rejuvenate, and become centered, whether it’s through meditation or other ways, it’s more difficult to present your best, beautiful self to your partner or a new potential love interest.

Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo

Find Your Soul Mate Now Programs – 5 Signs They Are Too Good To Be True

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You’ve probably come across love life promotions such as, “Hey, vulnerable, uninformed, desperately lonely person, find your soul mate in 30 days or less and delude yourself that you two are even moderately compatible because anyone is better than no one. It’s such a terrible thing to be single, right?”

The offers aren’t phrased quite like that, but they usually include impossible to fulfill promises. You know the type–“Find Your Soul Mate Now!” What they fail to mention is that they’re instructing you how to form more of a business partnership rather than an authentic love connection.

If you really are aiming for only a plain, old legally-binding marriage contract with someone, anyone really, that’s fine. But our findings show, and most rational people realize, that you can’t force love. It happens when it’s supposed to happen, that is, when it’s predestined, or fated to happen. No amount of inspiration, spells, or working on your issues will change that, though those things can sometimes be part of the equation.

Sometimes the offers to attract a mate are so compelling that your balderdash detector temporarily malfunctions. Below we list five signs that an offer to find a soul mate is too good to be true.

1. The marketer (and that’s what they are, above all else) cleverly divulges something like, “It’s perfectly natural to be disappointed, in emotional pain, and frustrated that you haven’t attracted ‘The One’ yet. I was like that too before I willed my soul mate to appear.”

One sure way to know that you’re not ready for a wonderful relationship based on unconditional love is if you can’t stand to be alone and are depressed and beside yourself if you’re not in a relationship. Emotionally needy people simply don’t attract lasting, compatible relationship partners.

2. It’s astonishing that the Soul Mate Marketers tell you that it’s normal to be very unhappily single, yet in the same breath tell you that all you have to do is “work out your issues” to attract a soul mate.

Identifying your issues is one thing, and it goes way beyond simply “monitoring your thoughts” and having a few sessions with a counselor. The idea of actually working through your issues, if they even can be worked out–often times it’s hopeless due to the entrenched nature of many fears and most subconscious defenses–is one borne of excessive optimism.

3. Watch out for marketers encouraging co-dependence masked as “mutual support,” such as with this sort of promise: “Once you connect with your soul mate, your life purpose will be clear, you’ll become one with that person, and you’ll never want for emotional support again. Your shared love will, in itself, be an uplifting service to the world.”

4. Careful of promotions that use language like “call in your soul mate,” which reeks of black magic. It’s fine to use your will for the highest good of all involved, but dark energy spell-casting and manipulating energy and people (i.e., “Gimmie what I want now, even though I haven’t earned it; to hell with karma and fate!”) is a sure way to link yourself–your very soul–to demonic energies and tie your future life karma to demons that will eventually make you pay your way out of their debt. You know the saying: “Get in bed with the devil and you have to–” A “magic portal to love” is one damn, dark, toxic portal. Dabbling with the dark side includes severe consequences. Avoid it and use your energy wisely.

5. One more sign that the offer is too good to be true is that the promotional material includes testimonials from self-appointed “luminaries,” best-selling self-help writers (who are actually their associates–they all shill for each other, and frequently they share the same publisher who arranges the glowing testimonials). These jokers make the same empty promises, with different packaging, veiled in feel-good prose.

Watch for these signs and you’ll never fall for this ruse again. Also, have faith that your personal love life timing will allow for a decent love connection, in time. Meanwhile, do what you’re supposed to do when you’re single: date, have fun, and focus on areas of your life that you won’t be able to once in a serious relationship.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

How You Know He’s Your Soul Mate–5 Tips

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Although love life connections seldom offer pure romantic fantasy, they do offer fantastic opportunities for emotional and spiritual growth, inevitably drawing to the surface anything but bliss and your romantic expectations.

Almost everyone wants to be in love and be loved, but unfortunately, the soul mate concept is greatly misunderstood.

In the early stages of a relationship, you may find yourself wondering if you have finally found that cherished connection, your soul mate. Later, if things don’t go as planned, you may say, “What was I thinking?” Regrettably, this seems to happen to everyone, even repeatedly for many people, chiefly due to myths about soul mates and the illusions of love ingrained in the mind from early on.

Our findings show that you have many different kinds of soul mates; some are for more practical purposes, some are very challenging to help accelerate your spiritual growth, and fewer are mainly related to romantic reward.

Here’s how to know if you’ve met one of your more agreeable ones, or even the most rewarding of your life (one of the more pleasing qualities of the concept of fate), and if you’re ready for this type of relationship:

1. You’ve both sincerely sought self-understanding and to make the most of your life. You understand that the less you know yourself, the more you see the world as you are instead of how it really is. You take responsibility for your life and everything in it, and avoid blame and victim consciousness. You know that expecting someone to be your everything is unfair and immature, thus you truly respect your partner for who they are and avoid trying to change them.

2. You’re both at a place in your life where you’re comfortable with your time alone, not desperate to find a partner. You realize that nobody is going to save you but yourself, and you refuse to put that kind of pressure on anyone. Along with knowing the qualities you require your partner to possess, you are perfectly clear about what you are offering as well, and in relation to what you expect of your significant other, it’s fair.

3. Thankfully, your timing is right; both of you accept that there are times in life for everything, as symbolized through comprehensive astrology and numerology, and some phases are just not conducive to romantic relationships.

4. Compatibility is great between you. You recognize that the harder you have to work to make a relationship pleasant, the worse the overall compatibility. While you acknowledge that compatibility is somewhat based on what you make of it, after years of dating experience, you recognize that compatibility is much more something two people naturally have between themselves. It can’t be manipulated, it just is.

5. You both accept that true love is unconditional love. You both strive to limit conditional love demands, such as “I certainly hope she does this, because if she loved me she would…” A good measure of how much your relationship is based on unconditional love is if you forget about Valentine’s Day (or better yet, boycott it), for example, and your partner thinks nothing of it because he or she knows that your love is much deeper and much more unconditional than a commercial, contrived romantic holiday. The more you get caught up in romantic expectations, the more likely you are going to misunderstand the true essence of a romantic soul mate connection: love without attachments and demands.

A rewarding love relationship may be elusive to many, but once you find one of your superior soul mate connections, you probably won’t be fraught with indecision whether or not he or she is right for you.

Copyright © 2011 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Sidestep This Terrible New Age Marketing Trap: Find Your Soul Mate in 90 Days or Less

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You never want to be caught in the trap of thinking you can conjure up your “soul mate” in 90 days or less by following a New Age snake oil protocol.

Ready, set, go. You now have 90 days to find the love of your life. What a terrible approach to love. Just like square-dancing, you’ll twirl your way into the arms of the closest participant, but unlike that dance, you’ll have to remain together forever. And because you’re too focused on your agenda, too focused on casting a play, the fact that you two aren’t really compatible won’t be obvious until the illusion and excitement fade.

Being caught in this trap won’t help you find a compatible love relationship partner. In fact, it will make you miss your best matches.

You’re not alone if you’ve fallen for this ruse. You see that the promoters are best-selling authors, they’ve been on high-profile talk shows, and their “heart-centered” communications obscure (by design) the fact that, when examined more closely, this is an incredibly disingenuous approach to love.

How to Escape This Trap

The best way to avoid this trap is to acknowledge these 5 truths:

1. You can’t force love. It happens when it’s supposed to happen. Absolutely make yourself available, socialize, and be receptive to new romantic opportunities. Just be aware of the idea that if it’s not meant to be within 90 days, it’s not meant to be.

However, if you insist, you can use control and manipulation to make someone (e.g., a eunuch) do your bidding and create the illusion of a “soul mate” connection, as many “love life experts” do themselves. But that’s nothing to do with unconditional love and, in time, you’ll be very unhappy with this approach.

It’s apparent to us, when observing the love lives, and delineating the timing and, or karma of the “experts” who claim you can find your “soul mate” if you follow their advice, that most are either fooling themselves or intentionally living a lie in an attempt to impress their customers and promote the “90 days or less” myth.

2. Attempting to identify and mitigate any personality blocks that interfere with what you want for your love life so that you may rise to a new level of being is an admirable concept, but one that’s fraught with steep challenges. You need authentic methods (e.g., handwriting analysis) to identify subconscious blocks, not the “simply monitor your thoughts and identify all your issues” nonsense. Also, the programming and negative subconscious fears won’t go away overnight, and the subconscious defenses are very likely to stay with you forever. Therapy and hypnosis audios can help the healing process along.

3. Even if a person does manage to overcome a lot of their blocks, their overall karma and timing may reflect a terrible landscape for romantic affairs. Thus, they’re fated to endure an abysmal love life, at least for a time. Anyone who says you can simply bypass your love karma and have whatever you want (if you buy their book, of course) is either lying or simply lacks understanding of key spiritual tenets such as karma, predestination, and destiny (which is the same thing as fate, by the way).

4. The time isn’t right for a good reason. Look at it this way: you should be glad that you’re not attracting your best soul mate right now so that you can take care of the other parts of your life first, and prepare for your heart’s desire when the time is right (fated).

5. The more you focus on deepening your self-love, self-improvement, and the utter acceptance and enjoyment of your time alone, the more likely you are closer to finding the love of your life. The worst position you can be in is to be in a constant state of desperation toward finding your “other half.” Don’t forget, as Stephen says, “Two halves make a dysfunctional mess.” Try not to buy into the hype that you need to be partnered in order to be happy. Be strong–self love is the most authentic form of true love.

You can’t manifest a rewarding soul mate out of thin air if the time isn’t right for you, no matter what the “experts” say. The erroneous notion and dreadful trap is an artificial, commercial approach to love that could potentially ruin your life. Following our advice above will help you to avoid this trap and, eventually, experience satisfaction in your love life.

Copyright © 2011 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

4 Soul Mate Revelations–Set Yourself Free With These Tips

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Most singles want to find a soul mate, but aside from the common romantic assumptions about this elusive magical bond, they generally don’t stop to think about the spiritual purpose of soul mates or the true meaning of the term.

Thanks to movies, TV, and romance novels, the perception of a soul mate has been distorted beyond it’s metaphysical definition. There is much suffering that could be avoided with more understanding and a change of viewpoint.

The following are four of the most common soul mate mistakes and what you can do to bypass them.

1) Assuming you only have one. After removing the fairy-tale element, a soul mate defined is simply a soul you knew in a previous incarnation. They could have been a sibling, parent, friend, or enemy; you may have 100s, or even 1000s of soul mates.

The term twin soul is often used to illustrate a special relationship, one that was especially created for you, or even your “other half.” As appealing as that may sound, unfortunately our findings invalidate this theory. Souls don’t pair off with only one ideal partner in the spiritual world.

But have hope. You do have connections that are much more compatible than others, and you will meet and enjoy each other when the time is right.

How do you know when you’ve met one of these magical connections? A feeling of knowing the person but not being able to place from where is common. As is instant like or dislike, assuming you are viewing the person objectively and not subjectively projecting onto them your dreams and hopes.

2) Soul mates are less about romantic happiness and more about destiny, and what’s fated may or may not compare favorably to your favorite love story. Each bond has a purpose, such as working on a project together, raising a child, working through karma, or simply enjoying each others’ company. You’ll experience a lot less stress and heartache if you learn to accept each relationship for what they are meant to be instead of only what you hope for.

3) Too young. Teens and 20-somethings are most likely to get drunk on the romantic, feel-good soul mate Kool-aid. Once reality hits, it’s often such a harsh contrast to what they expected that it’s easy to become cynical about future love life opportunities.

People convince themselves that they are mature enough to be happy with the person for the rest of their life, starting at a very young age. Unfortunately, this is usually not the case.

We’ve found through our empirical research that the more rewarding spiritual connections often show up later in life, sometimes after you’ve paid your dues, so to speak.

Instead of applauding “high school sweethearts,” parents and mentors would better serve kids in this area by helping them recognize that the Cinderella-type stories are only one possibility in the game of love, and by suggesting they not attempt to begin a life-long relationship until later in life.

4) “Together forever.” Most bonds are not meant to be life-long. It would be nice to have a compatible partner by your side for your entire lifetime, but since it doesn’t always work out like that, dropping expectations of such is key to satisfaction.

Of course, what would your love life be without a little fantasy and magic? It’s the spice of love and can lead to much happiness, if you keep it in check and remember to be realistic.

Copyright © 2010 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Asking Santa For Your Soul Mate

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We are convinced, based on our research, that everyone has many soul mates, not just one, and no soul mate connections are perfect.

There are many “experts” who say you can meet your “soul mate” simply by purchasing their love spell, following their plan, reading their book, attending their seminar, or praying to the right angels.

Most of these “experts” fail to acknowledge that you can’t just have what you want right now if it’s not meant to be. Instead, they pander to the instant gratification demands of the general public. Too many ignore the importance of getting to know yourself on all levels, discovering what you need to accomplish in this life, and other higher-minded values.

Promoting captivating half-truths and wishful thinking dressed up in sophisticated-sounding phrasing might fatten profits, as many “best-selling” New Age authors have found, but in the end it only serves to mislead and add to the massive New Age misinformation heap.

Sure, we appreciate inspiring and creative writing, especially when it’s grounded in truth instead of cozy escapism. When one simple idea is stretched into pages of wistful, much-about-nothing, long-winded prose, and one concise paragraph could have outlined the point, it just confuses the reader. Really, truth isn’t complicated, and you should be wary if you have to read a passage more than a few times to get its meaning.

We agree that the Universe (or God, or your Angels, or your Guides, or your Higher Self) does respond to questions as we’ve experienced the benefits of this countless times.

But as we’ve said before, we disagree that you can have something just because you want and ask for it, unless it’s part of your destined path, regardless of how much you heal yourself and regardless of how much energy and inspiration you direct toward your desire. There is no Santa Claus. If you could receive anything you wanted in this lifetime, you could just ask for and receive the winning lottery numbers or anything else, even if it didn’t match your destined path.

To avoid disappointment and wasting your time, it’s important to be your own Santa and not expect rewards from anyone or any power outside yourself just because you feel you’re entitled to them. You only get what you want if you’ve earned it, often times through past life, not current life, behavior and action. Just because you’ve been “good” in the recent past, doesn’t mean you’ll be rewarded for that now.

Regarding twin souls or true equals, it’s debatable whether they really exist or if the concept is absolute New Age nonsense. If you’re referring to someone who is your most compatible match (which may or may not be a lasting, rewarding relationship connection, depending upon your personal love karma), then yes, we do feel everyone has soul mates who are more compatible than others. But if you’re hoping for your “other half,” someone who is a “perfect” match with whom you’ll have the ideal relationship, we must inform you that based on our research, we feel that concept is pure fiction and fantasy.

If you view love relationships as a means to fulfill an emptiness inside of you, or something that will give you all that you dream of emotionally, sexually, mentally, spiritually, or financially, you can be confident that your outlook on love is unbalanced and unrealistic. In time, you will be forced to face any feeling of lack you hoped to eliminate through connecting with another person.

Does that sound a little harsh to you? We would rather blatantly present our findings and our professional opinions than lead you down a primrose path of illusion like we see happen too often in today’s New Age marketplace.

Concerning love spells, we advise against them for two reasons. The first is that when you cast a spell, you are accessing and bringing forth energy that may not be for the highest good of all involved or that may even be dangerous if not used correctly. While Wicca spells, for example, can be very beneficial, we feel only those serious students of Wicca who understand what they are doing should dabble in spells. The second is that it’s not anyone’s right to manipulate another person, and sometimes love spells encourage this.

Also, we firmly believe, through years of observation, that karma overrides spells. In other words, someone might be able to “create” a life circumstance through worship or spell-casting, but it won’t last (and could possibly be harmful) if it isn’t harmonious with one’s karmic and fated plan.

We encourage you to learn to enjoy being independent and make the most of yourself on all levels now so you’re ready for the right person at the right time. We are also supportive of the idea that it’s necessary to know yourself and what you want in a relationship if you want to make the most of your love life. A simple question to whomever you pray such as “What’s my next step to improve myself and my love life?” can work wonders. Ask this as often as you need to for insight. With practice, you’ll find that asking before bed will often result in waking up with answers or awareness.

Ultimately, the only way to have an authentically happy love life is to stop looking outside yourself for love. Think about that.

Copyright © 2006 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Twin Flame Soul Mate: More Myth Than Reality

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Many of us want to find our “soul mate,” a term often used to imply that there is one perfect partner for each individual. Metaphysically defined, a soul mate is simply someone you have known in a prior existence. Each person may have hundreds or even thousands of soul mates.

Edgar Cayce, one of the most successful psychics and medical intuitives ever in the United States, stated many times that there isn’t just one person out there who is perfect for you. He expressed in his readings that there are many love relationship possibilities for each person.

When you meet a soul mate, you may feel like you know the person but you can’t quite place from where. Your souls knew each other in a different time and place, although your present personalities usually don’t remember the details. You may have been lovers, siblings, relatives, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, or even enemies. You may instantly like or even love the person, or you may instantly dislike him or her.

Soul mate relationships that develop into love relationships take many different forms, depending on the karmic reasons the couple has reunited again. The present life interaction also depends on how much of their own baggage they’ve worked through, how much they take responsibility for their behavior and their lives, and how aware and honest they are with themselves and others.

There is always a reason for two souls reuniting. It may be due to unfinished business, such as one owing the other in some important way. It may be in the form of a project they are to complete together, such as the birth of and caring for a child. Sometimes it’s a test, to see if they can interact without hurting each other.

Some souls reunite simply for the purpose of enjoying each other again and have little or no negative karma to work through. They may have earned this relationship of harmony through many lifetimes of working through their conflicts.

These are the kind of relationships sometimes portrayed in romance novels. Many of us fantasize about having these kinds of relationships, where there’s little conflict and an excess of love, admiration, acceptance, and respect. Few of us, unfortunately, experience them.

A twin flame or soul has been defined as a soul who was created at the same time as you and who may be your “other half.” Based on our research we feel this definition of twin souls is the result of earthbound thinking. We don’t “pair off” with only one partner in the spirit world. Pairing off here on Earth and hoping for a lifetime relationship with the same partner often seems motivated by a fear of being alone and/or a fear of abandonment.

A different definition of a twin soul could be a soul mate with which you have shared many lifetimes and, through those experiences, perfected the relationship. This soul is one of the most ideal soul mates for you—assuming you both get your current personalities and hang-ups out of the way.

In his book Edgar Cayce on Soul Mates, Kevin J. Todeschi suggests yet another definition: “The primary distinction between soul mates and twin souls is that soul mates are brought together as a means of assisting both people in soul growth and twin souls often come together in an effort to achieve a joint task or a united work.”

Cayce also indicated that twin souls are not always romantically involved and that there is more than one twin soul for each person.

Hence, while most people associate a soul mate with romance, the main purpose has to do with personal growth, often through trials and challenges. In fact, many of our clients who have been in soul mate relationships say they are hesitant to get into another one, yet they realize that they’re here on Earth primarily to learn, not just to get what feels good. Additional information about soul mates and twin flames can be found here.

How do you know you’ve found a relationship soul mate? Sometimes it involves intense feelings from the very start, other times it’s not so obvious. Are you sexually compatible? Is there lots of passion in your relationship? What about trust and mutual respect? Do you share the same views about love and relationships? It’s possible to determine how compatible you are with another person through numerology, astrology, handwriting analysis, and past life regression.

Copyright © 2005 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo