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A Stunning Peak Into the Future of Dating and Relationships, Part II 

Imagine living in a society where everyone was extremely psychic, and also fully embraced the tenets of karma, fate, and reincarnation. What would your love life be like?

What follows is how we perceive things will be in 500 or more years, and also, according to our past life regression empirical research, how relationships were recognized in certain advanced lost civilizations, thousands of years ago.

1) People will see the purpose of each relationship before it begins. They’ll look back in wonder about how, hundreds of years earlier, relationships were expected to be predominantly about romance and serving personal agendas.

Sure, a little romance can add spice to a relationship, but in the future humanity will be psychic enough to realize that there is a different purpose for every connection, everyone has many soul mates, and not all of those connections are meant to involve lasting harmony and romance.

The karma, both “good” and “bad,” with every person you meet, will be obvious, so romantic illusion won’t cloud judgment. Instead of hoping that each new possibility is “the One” (which is too easy to do now because of the influence of movies, TV and pop culture, in general), people will simply sit back, relax, and perceive what is most likely meant to transpire based on what happened between them in past lives and where they left off.

2) Jealousy and possessiveness will cease to exist. Trying to own or control a partner in any way will be regarded as archaic and dysfunctional. No one will feel a need to because though more people will be single, the relationships that do develop will be so compatible and strong that the thought of someone else coming between them won’t be considered a threat.

3) Cheating and lying will be almost non-existent. Likewise, because everyone will be able to perceive themselves and others honestly, they’ll accept that strict, life-long monogamy is not ideal for everyone. Those for whom it isn’t, about 50% of the population, will no longer make promises of life-long fidelity and it won’t be expected of them either. As a result, responsible non-monogamy and group relationships will be more popular as an alternative to dishonesty.

4) Far fewer will marry, those that do will wait until later in life, and there will be different forms of marriage. Some will choose to have what we now call traditional marriage because of their happy shared lifetimes of the same. Other couples will mirror different relationship models that worked for them in their past lives.

5) People won’t feel the need to get married before having kids. They’ll also accept that marriage does not guarantee happiness and security for a child and since the focus will be more on the child than their relationship, “child contracts” will be more popular than marriage contracts. These will, among other things, put the child first and protect the child and the primary caretaker of the child.

One of the best things about a high level of psychic ability is the awareness of unlimited love from within and the other side. The romantic love so many seek now pales in comparison with this. People will feel more joyous and complete on their own, which will result in far more healthy and satisfying relationships.

A Stunning Peak Into the Future of Dating and Relationships, Part I

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Whether you call it a hunch, gut instinct, intuition, sixth sense, or just knowing, everyone has at least some psychic ability, even if they don’t acknowledge it. The more psychic you are, especially if you trust your judgment, the easier it can be to prepare for and navigate through the tribulations and blessings of life.

Imagine if you were extremely psychic. How would it change your love life? Would it be more satisfying? Possibly, though as they say, ignorance is bliss. Now imagine if everyone was extremely psychic. While it may take another 500 years or more to reach this point, we believe society is moving toward an overall heightened sixth sense, as well as being in a position to trust it much more so and not just write it off as “crazy thinking” or “your imagination.” We also believe this was the norm in select lost civilizations before recorded history, many thousands of years ago, according to our past life research.

What follows are some ways dating and relationships would be different in a psychic society. Keep in mind this is written with the estimation that with a society that has advanced psychic ability will come the acceptance of reincarnation, karma, and fate.

1) Being single will be far more popular. Instead of feeling pressured to pair off, most singles will relish their alone time and freedom. Their heightened psychic ability will allow them to perceive those select past lives of sorrow and extreme sacrifice due to attempting to force relationships that were not meant to be “forever,” and thus they’ll feel so much gratitude for the lessons learned and for being in a much better position now.

They’ll also be able to perceive the good relationship experiences of their distant past lives, thus be open to more of the same, but this time they’ll be in no rush to find someone, feel no void within to fill and have absolutely no feelings of incompleteness just because they’re single. They’re spiritually aware enough to realize that love is all around them, and they are never really alone. There will no longer be a fear of “growing old alone.”

2) “Find love in 90 days” and other, similar programs will be seen for what they are: unrealistic. In the future, people will enjoy a strong conscious awareness of their path in life, including when they are meant to meet a compatible partner, and will avoid spending time trying to convert one that isn’t. They’ll also know when they are meant to be single, and understand it’s not negotiable through free will.

Seers who use the comprehensive ancient sciences of prediction and delineation (astrology and numerology) will be popular since people will sometimes want to confirm their psychic premonitions.

3) “Together forever,” especially from a very young age, will be seen as more of a fantasy than reality. People will understand that every relationship has time limits because they’ll be able to perceive what is meant to be and for how long. They will accept that some friendships and relationships are meant to be life-long, but many are not.

4) Couples will feel much more equal in dating and relationships. Perceived inequalities between the sexes will fade away. In addition, everyone will see each other as they are without pretense and there will be no pressure or need to impress a potential partner with expensive romantic dates or gifts, for example. Some will choose this route in a nostalgic gesture that mirrors their shared past lives, but to most, this dating custom will be seen as silly, unnecessary, outdated, and akin to prostitution (which will be accepted as a private transaction between two consenting adults).

5) Homosexuality and bisexuality won’t be an issue. Someone’s sexual orientation will be as unimportant as the color of his or her eyes. In addition, there will be little shame or embarrassment associated with sex and sexuality.

What do you see 500 or more years from now? Let us know.

Love Life Genocide Through Pop Music 

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Before you think that we are advocating censorship, hear us out. We’re all for freedom of expression and speech, but it pays to critically analyze what society embraces without contemplation, like the messages in pop music that can contribute to very unhealthy outlooks on love and relationships.

Let’s consider some of the best-selling singles of all time. Although we respect all of these artists, and recognize that music can serve a cathartic purpose, as well as be uplifting and inspirational, from a spiritual perspective, the overall feeling and take-away is sometimes very dysfunctional.

Celine Dion sings in “My Heart Will Go On,” from the “Titanic” soundtrack, “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you,…spaces between us…Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on…Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go…We’ll stay forever this way…”

Aside from the fact that this song and movie were about two people who did not really know each other well enough to discern if they were even compatible, a period of mourning for lost loved ones is healthy. But refusing to let go of someone who is gone and not getting on with your life isn’t.

Cher sings in “Believe,” “After love, after love… No matter how hard I try…You keep pushing me aside…And I can’t break through…So sad that you’re leaving…But after all is said and done…You’re going to be the lonely one…I need love to feel strong…maybe I’m too good for you…”

Oh dear. In this song Cher sings about not being able to handle a breakup, then takes a defiant stance saying her ex is going to be sorry because he’s going to be the lonely one. Then she expresses a measure of vanity saying that maybe she’s too good for him. What about unconditional love and forgiveness? How about a more mature approach?

In “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”, Boy George of Culture Club sings, “How can I be real…Do you really want to hurt me…Do you really want to make me cry…I could waste a thousand years…Wrapped in sorrow…words are token…Come inside and catch my tears.”

We understand–breaking up can be very sad. But to masochistically exile yourself to victim consciousness servitude won’t do you any good.

Beyonce Knowles sings in “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)”, “…we just broke up…I cried my tears, for three good years…if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it…And now you gonna learn…What it really feels like to miss me…what I deserve…is a man that makes me then takes me.. And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond…Say I’m the one you want…If you don’t, you’ll be alone…”

If we understand Beyonce’s message correctly, it’s that she was heartbroken after a break-up and that all relationships should lead to marriage. Now she’s going to punish him because he didn’t meet her demands and he’s going to learn the hard way what it’s like to miss her.

Additionally, she believes she deserves a man who delivers her to a wonderful destiny. What about equality? Is she going to deliver him to a spectacular destiny too or does she just expect to be catered to like a spoiled princess who has an overblown sense of entitlement? And the destiny part–someone needs to inform her of the true meaning of destiny, which rarely has anything to do with Rolls Royces, 5th Avenue, and Armand de Brignac Champagne.

Taylor Swift, in “Love Story” sings, “We were both young when I first saw you…Little did I know…That you were Romeo…And I was crying on the staircase…Begging you, Please don’t go…And I said…You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess…It’s a love story, baby, just say, Yes… ”

Sure, a measure of illusion within romantic relationships is delicious, but making it all about fantasy and your personal love life agenda sets you up for major disappointment and ignores the spiritual purpose of relationships: learning important lessons (rewarding and challenging).

By all means, enjoy the music you’re drawn to, but remember that true love starts with self-love, expecting to find happiness or a feeling of completion outside of yourself through someone else will always end in disappointment, and that nobody can hurt you without your permission.

21 Tips to Save Your Teen and Yourself From Love Life Grief, Part III of III

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Have you ever wondered why so many people experience love life heartache on a regular basis? Most people seem to start out with good intentions but then many fall into the typical love life traps.

After over 25 years of empirical research with metaphysics, personality and compatibility assessment, and as a matchmaker and writing a book about soul mates, we’ve created the following tips to help you and your teens and adult children avoid all the most common love life traps.

Warning: Some of these tips may be entirely opposed to your love life dreams. We don’t sugarcoat our findings because not doing so will help you more in the long run.

1) Avoid the trap of “you are my everything.” Put yourself, your self-love, self-respect, and self-esteem first. You don’t need someone else to be happy.

A tendency to look outside one’s self for love exists when self-love, self-respect, and self-esteem are low. Unfortunately, there will never be enough to fill the void inside.

Weak self-love, needing love and attention like an insatiable drug habit, or never being comfortable with even temporary solitude are signs of being ill-prepared for, and lacking a necessary inner foundation for a healthy relationship. It’s obvious, but it overlooked by so many people.

2) Don’t try to force the circumstances of your love life. A strong will can help some areas of your life, such as career and health, but it can backfire with your love life. Know what works for you and what you want, then go with the flow. Too many New Age and self-help authors claim that you can create whatever you want, when you want, in your love life if you follow their advice. Based on our findings, we believe that everyone does have free will, but only within the confines of your individual fate and karma.

This means you can make the most of your life, but that one of life’s realities is that you can’t always have exactly what you want, when you want it.

3) Be cautious about safe-sex and birth control 100% of the time, even when you’re in love. Love or lust doesn’t protect you from unwanted pregnancies or STDs. Respect yourself and your future by practicing safe sex and using two forms of birth control every time, even if you think you know the person you’re dating very well. If they’re not okay with this, they’re probably not right for you.

4) Realize that marriage or commitment will not guarantee happiness or improve a relationship. Many divorced people will admit that the high expectations of traditional marriage can do the opposite.

5) Consider if a traditional marriage or marriage-like relationship is best for you. One size does not fit all; the traditional model encourages conforming to rules and customs which may not be right for you.

6) Consider the importance of a prenup, even if you and, or your partner don’t have many assets. Over half of all marriages end in divorce, with many couples fighting in court about money. You don’t know just what you’ll be worth 20 years from now or exactly how your partner will react if they feel their needs aren’t being met.

7) Consider the idea of what we call a “child contract” in addition to or instead of a marriage contract. Unlike marriage, this puts the child first and financially protects the main caretaker before the child is born.

21 Tips to Save Your Teen and Yourself From Love Life Grief, Part II of III

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There’s an epidemic in this world and it’s as plain as day to us: A perception of dating and relationships that severely conflicts with reality. After over 25 years of empirical research with spirituality, personality and compatibility assessment, and as a matchmaker and writing a book about soul mates, it’s our intent to share what we’ve learned to help you and your kids avoid, what are often, self-inflicted love life problems.

You may not like, or even be irritated by some of these tips. Still, we encourage you to consider each one as you observe your own and others’ love life conditions. We want you to be aware of our findings even if they clash with your love life goals because the information can save you a lot of time and heartache.

1) Avoid long distance “relationships.” If you’ve met on-line but never in-person, it’s not a relationship. 90% of the time it’s a fantasy fueled by illusion that will pop like a soap bubble if you ever meet face-to-face. Date locally or agree to be just friends unless you can spend months together in the same city.

2) Don’t beat yourself up by assuming a relationship “failed” if it didn’t last a lifetime. Our findings show that all relationships are for different reasons and have destined beginnings and endings. Very few that start at a young age are meant to be life-long.

3) Life-long monogamy from a young age can work for some. For many others, they start out with good intentions, but based on the high rates of cheating and unhappiness within traditional relationships, they realize too late it isn’t an agreement they will be happy with for the rest of their life. As much as you may dislike the idea, it’s important to acknowledge that strict, life-long monogamy is unnatural and even emotionally unhealthy for many people. Forcing someone to adhere to such an agreement after they are no longer attracted to you is akin to slavery.

Therefore, before you assume that strict, life-long monogamy is best for you and your partner, consider your ages, relationship and sexual histories, and sex drives. Also, be brutally honest about your sexual compatibility and whether there is a chance you may be happier with an agreement to continually reassess your connection and the amount of freedom you give each other as your needs change over the next
50-80 years.

4) Don’t confuse sex with love. Sex is not love, and love is not sex, but love can be expressed through sex.

5) “Together forever” is a soothing thought. It would be nice to meet the ideal partner at a very young age and be happily involved for the rest of your life, but the reality is it’s very rare. Also, times have changed. Considering that in 60 years it may be common to live to the age of 100, is expecting a relationship to last 80 years and also be harmonious and beneficial for both partners as they change and progress or regress realistic? In light of this, you may want to focus more on enjoying the moment rather than making life-long plans with a “high school sweetheart” or even while you are still in your 20s.

6) Avoid searching for the ever-elusive “true love” or expecting every connection to live up to such expectations. The only authentic love is unconditional love, which is completely void of expectations and demands. You must first have a reasonable level of self-love and let go of emotional neediness in order to enjoy and benefit from unconditional love.

7) Be careful of excessive focus on romance. It’s great in moderation, but our findings firmly suggest that most relationships tend to be more for personal growth.

Still Single? 7 Possible Reasons

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The most common reasons so many people are seemingly unable to find a long-lasting, ideal, harmonious, fulfilling, compatible relationship may include some of the following: they like being single; they aren’t comfortable with the prevailing relationship models of today; they’re holding on to the past; they waste time with people who are not compatible; they didn’t use the right manifestation techniques; the ideal, life-long relationship is largely a myth; it’s not part of their path at this time.

1) For some people, it’s not that they are unable to find a lasting, compatible relationship. They just haven’t found someone whom they value more than their solitude and, or independence. They’d rather be single than deal with the typical relationship problems, and that’s okay. Not everyone feels the need to go through life with someone always by their side.

2) Throughout this planet’s history, the type of relationship society deems acceptable has varied. For example, at times, in certain cultures, non-monogamy, open marriages, or short-term contract marriages were actually the norm (e.g., ancient Egypt). It’s likely that there has always been a portion of society that didn’t feel comfortable with what everyone else was doing. Likewise, what is most acceptable today (life-long, strict monogamy within a traditional marriage) may not resonate with everyone. Each person will be happiest if they realize what works best for them and then remain true to themselves.

3) Waiting for a lover to come back, resenting someone who hurt you, or holding out for something that isn’t meant to be will waste your energy, cause unnecessary suffering, and block future potential partners. The best thing you can do for yourself in these situations is to let go and move on.

4) On-line dating makes meeting people easier, but an unfortunate epidemic has stemmed from the technology: the long distance “relationship.” You wouldn’t believe the number of e-mails we get from people asking if their love interest, who happens to live in a different state or country and with whom they’ve been interacting daily for months but never met face-to-face, will result in happily ever after. The longer you wait to meet someone in-person, the more potential there is for the interaction to be based mostly on illusion and fantasy. Date locally or don’t expect anything to come from it until you’ve spent months together in the same city.

5) There are some New Age authors who declare you too can “manifest” the “love of your life.” Sure, certain rituals and exercises can help you gain clarity and focus on your goals, but to claim anyone can, for example, overcome all blocks that are preventing you from creating the love life of your dreams, is incredibly dishonest and blatantly snake-oil salesman-like. What’s even worse is when the “expert” blames the client for not trying hard enough when the steps don’t work.

We are certain, based on our many years of empirical research with personal fate, karma, matchmaking, and forecasting timing trends that you can’t magically “create” a compatible, lasting partner if it’s not part of your destiny and karma at that time. By all means, go ahead and “manifest” a companion when you want, but just realize that most of the time it won’t turn out to be a “complete package” soul mate, or even close.

6) It’s not difficult to finally come to the conclusion after years of trial and error that an ideal, mutually satisfying (sexually, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) “permanent” relationship is mostly fantasy. Once you accept it’s actually extremely rare, it’s easier to instead focus on, be grateful for and enjoy the other, more rewarding parts of your life.

7) As mentioned above, a compatible, long-lasting relationship will only happen for someone when it’s destined to happen. Ultimately, personal fate and karma prevail as the core reasons you can’t have an ideal love life any time you want. The good news is that your individual love life timing, like the seasons, is always changing. If you don’t like where you are now, do all you can to improve yourself and your situation and have faith things will get better, eventually.

What Never to do When Dumped and What to do Instead

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Anyone who has dated has probably been dumped. It happens even to the most eligible singles for various reasons.

We recently heard from a 29 year-old woman who said that her ex “should be” with her, and that she had paid a few spell-casters to work their magic and bring him back, but he still isn’t responding. She wanted to know what else she could do to change his mind.

We told her that it’s not her right to manipulate anyone, and using spiritual strong-arm techniques like love spells to control someone is abusing spiritual energy, will cause negative karma, and can invite nasty energy into your life.

It can be heartbreaking when someone leaves. However, there are magical techniques you can do to minimize the pain, not cause any negative karma, and if it’s destined, possibly repair your relationship.

Mystic’s Magic Formula

If you apply the Mystic’s Magic Formula, you will reach your goals if they are part of your predestined path. If they aren’t, your efforts are likely still part of your destiny, but may be more for a learning experience. Remember, the journey is often more important than the destination.

IMPORTANT NOTE: These steps are nondenominational; they can be used by anyone for all areas of life, no matter what religion or belief system you subscribe to.

1) Make time to consider your situation from a spiritual perspective. Review your assumptions and expectations and let them go.

Romantic love is nice, but it’s not the main purpose of relationships. Learning your lessons and working through your “good” and “bad” karma is. Also, remember that you likely have a long, hidden history with every person you become involved with, sometimes good, sometimes more challenging. This ancient history, if you care to explore it through meditation or past life regression, will shed light on why things worked out the way they did.

2) Accept what has happened, what is, and where you are (essential in order to move on).

If the person you want to be with is not interested, the best thing you can do to avoid excessive suffering is to accept their decision. Why in the world would you want someone who doesn’t want you? Also, once you accept and move on, you may find that they will perceive you in a better light.

3) Gratitude: express it for where you are, everything rewarding in your life that you have, and the good that will be, and strengthen your faith by continuing to emotionalize the desired, end result.

If there’s still a chance of saving the relationship, gratitude can work wonders. If there’s not, being grateful for new love in the future will too.

4) Invite help from your higher-self, guides of the Light and, or God.

Ask for help accepting the situation, repairing it if it’s destined, and, or moving on. Ask and you shall receive. Perhaps not always what you want, but usually what you need.

5) Calm your mind and fears and awaken your awareness through meditation.

6) What’s the next step? Ask this every step of the way and be open for clues.

7) Assume responsibility for yourself and your situation (no blaming).

8) Navigate your path with the tools available to you: numerology and astrology, meditation, past life regression, and graphology.

9) Do what you need to do, when you need to do it (and do “the right thing” in all situations).

When you follow these steps, you’ll initiate the right action at the right time and it will be for the highest good of all involved, resulting in more happiness, peace of mind, and a much more rewarding life.

Five Common Questions Asked of Psychics

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“Did he/she cheat?”If you have to ask a psychic this question, you may not be ready to have a real relationship, the connection you have with the person is not conducive to a compatible relationship, the person is not the monogamous type and, or the person is not deserving of your trust or time.

Some people need and, or want variety (statistics show it’s a lot more than some), or find that one person cannot meet all their needs and are better off not trying to be monogamous. It’s also a waste of energy to attempt to force these types to remain exclusive with you, which may be about as effective as them trying to force you to be happily non-monogamous.

Trying to make someone live within your relationship ideals is not unconditional love, and controlling behavior will incur negative karma. If you’ve been involved with someone who can’t or won’t be monogamous, you may want to ask yourself why you chose, on a subconscious level, to become involved with them. It just might be possible you’re naturally more non-monogamous.

As a reminder, safe-sex every time is a good idea if you have any doubts whatsoever about whether or not your partner is being monogamous.

Not much is ever mentioned about the spiritual side-effects of casual sex. If you’re spiritually sensitive, it’s possible to pick up others’ negative energy from your lover if he or she strays, especially if it’s done with negative emotions such as guilt or anger, which weakens a person’s spiritual defenses. For this reason, among others, some feel that demanding strict monogamy can be more harmful than helpful. But fear of negative energy is a weak excuse to try to force a lover into monogamy, since you can inadvertently pick up cosmic garbage in numerous ways and it’s relatively easy to cleanse and protect yourself.

Whether you are monogamous or not, it’s a good idea to protect yourself from dark energies. Meditation and visualizing yourself being cleansed and guarded with white Light are two methods. Avoiding drugs and excess alcohol will make you spiritually stronger. If you would like more help we recommend our Spiritual Detox recording.

“Does he/she really love me?”

Love means many different things to different people, and everyone expresses it differently. If you want someone to love you the way you love them, it may not be realistic. Consider why you are asking this question. If you have doubts about their sincerity, it may be time to move on. Otherwise, if you have a burning need to be someone’s “one and only” and you require them to voice their steadfast devotion to you on a regular basis, consider therapy.

“Is he/she my soul mate?”

He or she is most likely one of them, since everyone has many. If you’re looking for “The One” who you’ll be with “together forever,” we recommend a different approach. It’s okay to know what you want, but try to allow each dating situation to unfold naturally instead of trying to mold it into your fantasy or the ideal.

“When will he/she come back to me?”

When people ask if it’s a good idea to get back together with an ex or if the ex is coming back, 90% of the time the answer is “no.” If one or both of them are under age 30 or so, we’ve found it to be “no” 99% of the time.

When it’s over, it’s over, and if they left, usually they’ve already made up their mind and no amount of begging, manipulating, or hoping will change that. If you’re the one who left, you likely did so for good reasons. Remember those reasons and try to let go of any fears about being on your own again. Going back to someone who is not compatible is never a good idea.

If your lover left, you have a choice; resist and create more unhappiness for yourself, or accept it and let go. It won’t be easy at first, but once you accept that it’s over (completely, or at least for now) and move on, you will be in a position to consider if it’s really in your and their best interest to get back together. The answer is often “no.”

Depending on your outlook, this may or may not be good news for you: through our research we’ve found that everyone has many soul mates.

“We met online but haven’t met in-person yet. Is there a future for our relationship?”

We determine through our readings and analyses levels of compatibility and if a couple’s interaction will be shorter or longer-term, but if you’ve never actually met, it’s not really a relationship. If you’ve met more than a few online contestants in-person, you may have realized by now that it’s usually not a good idea to spend more than a couple weeks emailing or an hour or two talking on the phone with someone you’ve never met in person; if there is no face-to-face chemistry (which is very difficult to determine by email or phone), it will be awkward and you’ll feel like you only wasted time. Experienced online daters will likely understand why we say this.

Two Common Questions Asked of Psychics

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“When will I get married (or meet my life partner or soul mate)?”Many young adults ask us this question. Though we can determine through our readings and analyses when someone is likely to experience a compatible love connection, we always recommend to those not yet in their 30s to avoid spending too much energy looking for a serious relationship or marriage partner.

Many of them would be much better off going with the flow, dating, having fun, enjoying their youth, learning who they are beyond the social programming, and focusing on their careers so they have a life before they try to make a relationship “permanent” through a legally-binding agreement.

It would be nice if you met a compatible “life partner” early in life and remained happily together for the “rest of your life.” Unfortunately, most people’s soul schedule or personal fate doesn’t always include what they want, when they’d like to experience it, contrary to popular New Age opinion, no matter how much they “master the art of manifestation.”

Also, the concepts of lock-it-in-forever-happy-marriage and life partners are human, artificial constructs, not spiritually-based; our belief is that on a soul level they are viewed as unrealistic, and life-long relationships aren’t perceived as mandatory or even necessary in many cases when a soul is planning the next incarnation.

If you think about it, in most cases, a fulfilling, satisfying relationship with the same partner from your 20s until you die of old age is unrealistic since everyone changes (for better or worse) at different rates. Yes, some couples do “grow old together” if it’s destined to work out that way, but if it’s not, people don’t have to suffer for the rest of their lives. It’s not the 1800s any more, thankfully. People don’t need to rely entirely on a spouse to survive anymore. You now have the option of being independent and being with a partner because you want to, not just because you’re settling in order to survive.

As far as the notion of a “twin flame” soul mate goes, we’ve found through our long-term, empirical research that it’s as mythical as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny; it’s an illusionary and subjective concept. Although some soul mates are better than others, after all the illusions fade away, there is no perfect match. Distorted, romantic idealism can be an innocuous escape, but too often it leads people astray, detracting from their earthly purposes and making life more complicated.

Instead of viewing marriage as an important destination and wondering when you’ll be swept off your feet, a better question to ask would be when are you most likely to meet someone who is compatible, or experience one of your more compatible relationships.

In addition to accepting the truth that not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime, we also recommend accepting that everyone has many soul mates. These two suggestions alone will save you much heartache and stress.

We’ve found that all relationships have destined starting and ending times (emotionally and romantically), and most are not meant to last “forever,” even if a couple chooses to stay together, essentially as roommates for whom the flame has long since extinguished, if it even existed at all. If you look at the big picture, a life-long relationship may seem ideal, and it may be part of some people’s path, but from a spiritual perspective, it isn’t as important as you may think.

If you would like to meet a compatible soul mate, make the most of yourself and have faith that you will meet the right people at the right time. Letting go of any resentment or regret from past relationships and accepting your status of being single will clear the way for a more compatible person, and remaining open to new possibilities instead of thinking in “all (‘The One,’ ‘Forever’) or nothing” terms will lead to more success in your love life. If you’re already involved with someone, letting go of expectations (that may or may not be related to the “twin flame” or other soul mate myths, or “acceptable” social standards) and accepting the person and situation as they are will lead to more harmony.

“Does he/she like me?” “Is he/she thinking about me?”

We can understand if you don’t want to make the first move out of fear of being embarrassed or rejected. But it’s really not your right to know what someone is thinking unless they tell or show you.

Meditate and ask for signs about whether or not it’s a good idea for you to make it clear you are interested or to contact the person. You have nothing to lose, unless you work together. In that case, it’s usually best to remain friends due to the possibility of the relationship issues causing problems at work.

Afraid to be Alone Part II

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Should you stay or should you go, and how should you do it? Will you be alone for the rest of your life if you leave? Whether or not to leave an unhappy relationship and strike out alone can be an agonizing decision for many.

Viewing it from a different perspective will help you. Below we outline a couple case studies and show that there are alternative options to conventional wisdom.

Case study problem #1:

“Alan and I agreed to be committed to each other even though I felt like he may have been more interested in financial security (I make well over six figures and Alan is a struggling musician). He admitted that he cheated once (but I suspect more). But he’s grown up a lot since then and promises me that he’s changed. I think we have a chance together, especially since our physical/sexual connection is so incredible. I think he may be “the one” and worry that if I don’t stay with him, I may miss the opportunity to ever be loved again.”

Traditional thinking and solution:

Believe his pleas about how he’s grown up (never mind that his nature dictates that he needs variety and that he’ll either stray again or be unhappy being strictly monogamous), bite the bullet and get married. After all, everyone knows that marriage improves all relationships and secures happiness; this is why so many people rush into this legally binding situation.

Alternative Suggestion:

You’re considering a commitment with a man who cheated on you and who may be more interested in your money than you? Based on Alan’s birth data, what we intuit, and what you’ve told us, he’s not the monogamous type or someone you’ll be able to trust or depend on. If you don’t make a commitment with him, are you missing the opportunity to ever be loved again? We doubt it, but more importantly, you need to ask yourself if being with him is worth the misery he will likely cause you both.

Alternative Suggestion:

If the physical/sexual connection is mind-blowing, but he isn’t the monogamous type, you do have other options besides all (marriage and its expectations) or nothing (dumping him). Perhaps he’s meant to be in your life in a different capacity, such as a “friend with benefits” or as a secondary partner. This arrangement can work if both partners are mature and honest and have no expectations of it leading to anything more.

However, in these situations (and all relationships, for that matter), never assume anyone is being strictly monogamous or practicing safe sex with other partners. Always practice safe sex and use condoms. That may sound untrusting or paranoid to some, but we’ve known too many people who’ve contracted STDs, including HIV, from partners, even those in relationships that they assumed were monogamous. Don’t be foolish. Play safe 100% of the time. Some people have good intentions and want to be honest and keep their promises, but their nature contradicts that; they simply cannot. Their urges and agendas and excuses and justifications are more important to them.

Case study problem #2:

“I have been in a long-term relationship for 15 years, since I was 26. I don’t feel my other half is my true soul mate. However, I’m not sure that I’ll ever find my true soul mate, so I remain with my boyfriend. He’s a great guy, but when people talk of true love, I know this just isn’t it. Our sex life is pretty much non-existent, and has been for the last 9 years. I’m worried that if I end my relationship I’m too old to find someone else, so I just stay where I am because I don’t want to grow old alone…”

Traditional thinking and solution:

You’re past your prime. Just make the most of your current situation.

Alternative Suggestion:

You two are essentially roommates who masquerade as a couple. Though it’s true that everyone has many soul mates, he doesn’t seem to be one of your more compatible ones. You’re not too old to find someone else or to enjoy being single. In fact, we’ve known many people who look their best, even very sexy, in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, especially if they exercise often (including yoga), meditate for stress relief and awareness, maintain diets that work for them, such as whole and raw foods, avoid drugs and excess alcohol, and do internal cleansing. If you make time to make the most of yourself, you will reap the rewards. In addition, personal timing (as discerned through comprehensive numerology and astrology), not age, dictates when you’ll meet a compatible match.

As far as growing old alone goes, having a partner now is no guarantee that he or she will be there later in life, or that they will be a remedy for your loneliness. Alternatively, invest time in quality friends and family, volunteer, turn off the TV, and join groups that interest you, and, or get a pet.

Everyone is, for the most part, programmed from birth to believe they need to find the one perfect person to meet all of their needs for the rest of their lives. Remarkably, this is often expected by people in their 20s, when they are too young to really know themselves. This is impossible, but many still strive for it and then think they or the relationship “failed” if their expectations aren’t met. Stop looking outside yourself for love or for a soul mate to fulfill your every need for the rest of your life. The sooner you can do that, the happier you’ll be.

If you are alone now or at times in-between relationships, learn to love being alone; this is your time to concentrate on other areas of life and help others with what you’ve learned. Make a difference in someone’s life and, or the world.

Finally, what is the root cause of your fear of being alone? Where did it all start? It’s not just because you don’t like being alone. It goes much deeper than that. Find out through regular meditation and, or past life regression. Regular meditation will also help you connect with your higher-self and God, and with this awareness, it will be easier to let go of the unhealthy fear of solitude. Remember, it’s only a fear, one that you have control over if you choose.

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Afraid to be Alone Part II