Category Archives: Love Life

Stop Focusing on These 3 Questions or Suffer in Your Love Life

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We believe the primary purpose of all love relationships is opportunity for spiritual growth, yet few seem to share our belief considering the three common questions about a new relationship partner that often lead to love life suffering.

It’s understandable why people today approach love relationships like a business arrangement. Most people are conditioned from birth to hold, in our view, very restrictive outlooks on love relationships. However, demanding a contractual business arrangement, such as with traditional American marriage, while simultaneously holding expectations of true love, is a recipe for failure.

Below are three common love life questions that are rooted in an outdated and unhealthy viewpoint of love. Avoid such an outlook and welcome a more rewarding life.

1. “Will it last?” Everyone has heard stories of the couples that have been blissfully married for over 50 years, and many people see the decades-long relationship as the ideal. However, the truth is, from a spiritual point of view, duration is irrelevant. What does matter is what you learn in the relationship, and you can learn some of the most important lessons in relationships of only a month or less.

2. “Is he/she the ‘one’?” Our findings clearly show that there is no “one.” You have many soul mates, and some are more compatible than others. While you may find one or more soul mates exceedingly compatible, you might find others in the future even more compatible and you won’t know who the love of your (this) life is until the last day of your life.

We frequently hear those in their 20s or younger asking if a person is “the one.” Many of them may as well phrase it like this: “I’m nowhere near the mature adult I’m striving to be, but I can’t stand being alone, want someone to hitch my wagon to, and need someone to make me happy.” We have compassion for these people because they’ve been misled by romantic fantasies and don’t yet have the experience to see through them. For those who insist upon hitching their wagon to someone, they’d be better off relaxing the rules, like allowing their partner freedom, so they don’t create the love life misery that’s so common in young relationships.

3. “Can he/she commit?” Interpretation of this is as follows: “Can he/she repress his/her natural urges to have more than one lover for the rest of his/her life, even if I lose interest in sex with him/her? Yes, it’s true that one or both of us might tire of having sex with each other, but I don’t care–I just want to fulfill my selfish demands.”

You likely want someone to commit to you because you are afraid of abandonment. Thus, you want to lock it in. Although this is a natural desire, it’s displaying a lack of unconditional love. It’s not spiritual in the least.

By the way, it’s common for one partner to be sexually frustrated due to the other not wanting sex very often. What makes it worse is that the one who doesn’t want sex refuses to allow her partner to seek other lovers. If you don’t care enough to make sure your partner is sexually satisfied, why would you care if he had sex with someone else?

The Best Approach

What is the best approach to love relationships? In our opinion, you must let the connection be what it is most naturally because each connection is fated to be different. If it’s just friends or a deep, romantic connection or a one-day love affair, let it be that. If it’s a 30-year roller-coaster ride of a relationship, so be it.

The key is accepting what you can’t change, and making the most of what you can, while expressing unconditional love, despite that such a way of living is going against tradition.

Do you want to endure less pain and suffering in your love life? If so, strive to express more unconditional love.

Our Direct Your Destiny E-Package includes 2 effective love life and relationship conditioning audio MP3s, 4 effective love life and relationship exploration, discovery, and healing audio MP3s, 5 Incredible subconscious programming and affirmation-packed audio MP3s, 1 amazing, cutting edge technology, advanced spiritual technique packed audio MP3 meditation specially designed to supercharge your s.e.x life, and a solid collection of spiritual insight and wisdom to help you make the most of your love relationships.

Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo

The Most Overlooked Quality That Makes or Breaks Your Love life

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The most overlooked quality that makes or breaks your love life is not bad luck, but personal timing.

We’re not referring to trying to time the beginning of a relationship for success, such as planning a wedding on the day of a New Moon. Our findings tell us that other forces, such as an individual’s fate, trump such triviality.

Conventional wisdom dictates several common sense items that make or break your love life, including the following: you must be receptive to a rewarding love life; you must socialize and make yourself available so that you can meet prospective mates; a good match should share common interests and beliefs; and you must feel a sense of well-being in a partner’s presence.

Just put yourself out there and choose someone who makes you feel good. Easy, right? Not so fast.

Almost everyone who has looked for a long-term relationship has encountered the usual problems, including wasting time with bad apples, and just not finding good or even moderate compatibility and chemistry no matter how much effort they put into it.

Why do some people have such an easy time finding a good match, and others fail no matter what they do?

Eliminating the obvious, such as personality challenges (red flag issues such as domineering tendencies, selfishness, vanity, anger, drug and alcohol issues, etc.), or the subconscious fear of abandonment or fear of being trapped in a bad relationship, for example, there still exists an overlooked quality that makes or breaks your love life and it’s unexplainable by modern science, including psychology and almost all the love “experts” we’ve seen and read.

The one hidden quality that determines your love life is personal timing. Your unique collective timing, outlined by comprehensive astrology and numerology, symbolizes your love life. Extremes are easy to identify. In our proprietary systems of analysis, massive collections of red-flag love life timing represent major love life problems. Sometimes the tough love life timing is short-lived, sometimes it lasts a long time.

Unfortunately, you can’t change your collective timing, no matter how inspired you get. Our findings firmly tell us that your personal timing is part of your predetermination. In other words, your timing reflects your fate (or destiny–same exact meaning–what you can’t change about your life).

Fate and karma are best considered from a very wide scope, as in lifetimes, instead of only part of your current life. It’s one sure way to make sense of the unexplained in life. Your intentions, thoughts, and actions now serve to shape the circumstances of your future lives.

Your love life timing may be terrible now for two main reasons: you are fated to endure a challenging relationship because the lessons you will learn are necessary for your spiritual growth; you are supposed to be focusing on other parts of your life, instead of relationships.

In the case of the latter, it’s usually a matter of the person having favorable love life karma, but having to endure a span of time that doesn’t reflect that overall favorable love life karma. If only they knew they were in a temporary negative phase and things would get much better, it would provide a lot of peace of mind.

Perhaps you’re wondering, “How can you possibly say a person’s terrible love life has to do with personal timing?” Our theory isn’t rooted in guesswork.

Our philosophies are the result of long-term empirical research. For over twenty years we’ve scrutinized comprehensive astrology and numerology charts while observing the representative circumstances (past and present) of thousands of individuals. The regular and unfailing repetition of patterns from the comprehensive charts completely matching the events and circumstances in people’s lives has convinced us that love life trials (and other life particulars) has a lot to do with personal timing.

It’s okay to have believed the myth that all it takes is luck and some effort to have a rewarding love life, but now you should act on the truth. If your love life timing is terrible right now, have faith. Bad love life timing doesn’t last forever, and while you endure it, try to focus on other parts of your life to prepare for better times.

Our Direct Your Destiny e-package offers powerful tools to help you make the most of your love life, including 4 effective love life and relationship exploration, discovery, and healing audio MP3s.

Copyright © 2014 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Spirituality and Great Sex: Top 8 Hidden Reasons it’s Rare

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Great, mind blowing sex can be healing and transformational, making you feel alive and full of energy, but unfortunately, it’s rare.

Common complaints about sex that is less than satisfying are selfishness, lack of interest, poor hygiene, low energy, being too quick or slow, being too aggressive or passive, a bad attitude, and being out of shape or overweight.

What makes someone good in bed? Good technique, wanting and knowing how to please, a concern for safe-sex, a sense of adventure and playfulness, and being relaxed and confident all contribute to great sex.

All of those things matter, but what can really make or break great sex is the energy or spiritual connection between two people. If you pay attention, you’ll notice the energy connection is different between every person you meet. The spiritual connection also includes subconscious memories of how your souls knew each other in past lives. Consider the circumstances below metaphoric if you don’t believe in reincarnation.

Here are the top 8 spiritual, usually hidden, reasons for bad sex:

1) You were enemies in past lives. This type of energy can stimulate more energetic sex, but it can also foster animosity, which will eventually kill the connection.

2) He was your brother, sister, father, or mother in a past life. You may be drawn to each other now, in this life, but sex or even the idea of it with him just feels awkward. This is one reason why you shouldn’t try to force each potential relationship and instead just relax and see what feels right (or doesn’t) and is meant to be (or not).

3) You two were lovers but then she betrayed you in a past life by having an affair. This can often subconsciously motivate you to want to cheat and, or cause you to feel like you can’t trust her.

4) You two were nuns, priests, monks, or other religious individuals and sex was forbidden. The subconscious shame and guilt might still be present and cause sexual dysfunction.

5) You experienced a past life where you were punished or tortured for having sex. Subconsciously, you now associate sex with pain and death. In extreme cases this can cause someone to have little interest in sex, or be attracted to violent sex.

6) You had multiple lifetimes in societies where sex was forbidden for anything but procreation. You may have even helped enforce such beliefs. Subconsciously you still think sex is “wrong” and cannot allow yourself to let go and enjoy sex.

7) You are hopelessly devoted, subconsciously, to a past life lover. Consciously, you don’t remember promising centuries ago to wait for him or forever be hers and only hers, but the pact still prevents you from enjoying sex with anyone but that long forgotten love. If you don’t consciously remind yourself often that it’s over, time to move on, and that everyone has many soul mates, you’ll block any love life pleasures in the present and future.

8) You or your partner are experiencing spirit possession or attachment. The interfering energy can drain you, leaving little energy for sex. In some cases an attached spirit, for whatever reason, dislikes your partner. Since it’s difficult to distinguish between the attached spirit’s thoughts and your own, this can cause sexual and relationship problems.

Great sex doesn’t have to be rare; address the root cause for and you’ll increase the likelihood of more satisfying sex for both you and your partner.

A past life regression MP3 can help you discover and release false fears or other sexual blocks.

The Spiritual Detox MP3 can help you release unwanted, negative energy.

Use our Soundless Subliminals to improve yourself, your love life, and your sex life.

Bring out your inner passion with the Incredible S.e.x. Hypno-Reiki Meditation MP3.

Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo

8 Tips to Avoid Ruining Your Love Life in 2014

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It’s that time of year again. Countless Valentine’s Day ads remind you of your happy love life, or if you’re like most people, your less than perfect romantic life.

Contrary to the implications of this commercial holiday, there’s nothing wrong with being single, or having a non-traditional relationship.

No matter what your love life status, here are some love life tips you can use year-round to make the most of it.

1) Accept how your love life is right now. This isn’t easy, so you’ll have to repeatedly remind yourself, especially when it seems like your circumstances couldn’t get worse. Once you accept being single or your relationship as it is, it will be easier to cherish the good things about your situation, and sometimes that will encourage change for the better.

2) Accept that you don’t need someone else to make you happy. You are all you need, believe it or not. Once you understand this, a relationship becomes an added bonus rather than a narcotic drug you can’t live without. Love addicts experience the crash and yearning for more far more often than the high.

3) Learn to not care about what other people think about your love life. It’s really none of their business. Do what makes you happy, even if it’s not the norm. If you don’t, you’ll have regrets at the end of your life.

4) Don’t fall for the “one and only soul mate” lie. Some love life experts claim to have the key to finding “the one,” “your twin soul,” and other fanciful love life goals. We’ve found through our years of empirical research that everyone has many soul mates, and most of them are not meant to result in a life-long, blissful relationship.

5) Don’t fall for the “together forever” fantasy. Sure, it’s possible, and in rare cases couples do grow old together without great suffering and sacrifices that make them die inside. Unfortunately, most couples who commit at a very young age find that they’re not compatible enough for a traditional relationship after five, ten, or twenty years. Couples in prior generations had to remain together due to sociological and economical reasons. Today, singles and couples have more options, and that’s a good thing. The length of a relationship isn’t important; what you learn and the love you give is.

6) Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have an ideal relationship, the type of love life that some celebrities seem to have as described in the media. Like an airbrushed photo, what they present to the world and the reality might be two different things. In fact, in some cases, you might be shocked to know the truth about the relationship.

7) Consider karma and fate. Even if you use your free will to do all you can to improve your love life, and you should, things won’t always go as you hope due to the ever-present laws of karma and fate. This doesn’t mean you’re being punished, but it might mean that you’re going through a learning phase now for a more wonderful love experience later.

8) Lighten up and relax! It’s so easy to get caught up in your routine and be stressed out from the responsibilities of life. But if you don’t take “me time” to relax, rejuvenate, and become centered, whether it’s through meditation or other ways, it’s more difficult to present your best, beautiful self to your partner or a new potential love interest.

Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo

Spirituality, karma, and Cheating in Relationships — Pros and Cons

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The statistics of recurring studies around the world show that cheating in relationships is far more common than everyday appearances let on; an average of 45% of respondents claim to have cheated in a relationship, and that doesn’t include those who haven’t admitted to an affair or fling.

Check out the various types of married people who cheat or think about cheating.

Recently, we received this question regarding cheating in relationships: “Once you are in a marriage, the only ethical way to have sex with other woman is divorce. Am I right? Especially if the wife no longer wants sex and is not ok for polygamous relation. Can you clarify what best can be done in such a situation?”

His problem is that he wants to cheat in his relationship, but he’s concerned about the consequences.

A few pros for cheating:
1. He’ll get to scratch that itch, and many people will agree it can be an overwhelming itch.
2. It may lessen the strife in his relationship because he’ll no longer be concerned about getting his sexual needs met by his spouse, since she has lost interest in sex and, or they are no longer attracted to each other (which is common in many long-term relationships).
3. It may broaden his horizons and allow for spiritual growth. How can this be, you ask? We believe that you learn something new about yourself through every single relationship, no matter the duration. That’s right, having multiple sexual partners can contribute to spiritual growth.

A few points against cheating:
1. He may incur negative karma by doing so; future lifetimes may find him on the receiving end of infidelity, feeling the pain exactly to the degree he inflicted it in prior lives.
2. He may destroy his current relationship by cheating.
3. He may harm his reputation by cheating.
4. If he doesn’t practice safe sex, he risks STDs or unplanned pregnancies.

Nobody likes to be cheated on in relationships, but his situation (like many other relationships) may be more complex than how we address it above.

For example, it’s possible his spouse may already be cheating on him; there exist many forms of infidelity besides having sex with someone other than your spouse. But justifying his cheating with her infidelity doesn’t negate karmic consequences, it only makes them more complicated.

He asks about an “ethical” way to have sex with another woman outside of his marriage. That depends on what ethical refers to.

In relation to his marriage vows, accumulating negative karma, what others will think, or his religion? Ethics is too often subjective.

He wants to know what’s the best way to have sex with other women without crossing any red lines. Again, it’s complicated, but we offer some suggestions below.

One option is to divorce, though that may not be possible in his culture.

He may want to stay together due to finances or children. Not surprisingly, his wife is against the idea of an open relationship, but if he shows her examples of how an arrangement can work, and makes sure there are benefits for her too, she may reconsider. Such a situation works much better if they agree on rules ahead of time to ensure mutual respect.

As a last resort, if she refuses to compromise and he’s okay with a partner cheating on him in a future life, (since this is the karma he may very well incur for himself if he follows the common cheating in relationships standard), he should feel free to cheat.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Three Stages of Seeking True Love

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Countless individuals have experienced the three stages of seeking true love.

First, the person seeking true love looks for it everywhere, as if it will magically appear and elevate him to a blissful state of being, and sometimes projects what they want onto people who are not compatible. This type of true love seeking almost always ends in disappointment. It’s like trying to find an oasis in the desert.

You are not alone if you’ve ever been in this stage of seeking true love. Most single people would like a good relationship and are not above actively seeking true love. But unfortunately, it’s very common to fall into this trap.

The next stage in seeking true love is becoming cynical because you haven’t found it; true love appears ever-elusive. You see those (seemingly) happy couples in public and hear about the decades-long relationships and you think, “Why not me? What’s wrong here?” What you’re forgetting is that appearances are deceiving, especially with younger couples. This stage is also an unfortunate trap that people fall into. It’s not easy rising above the inevitable pessimism. Hang in there if you are at this stage.

The third stage of seeking true love is rather unexpected, though not everyone moves to this level: you inadvertently become happily single and stop actively seeking true love. You come to cherish the inherent freedom of being single, your appreciation of life overall and your own self-love grows, thus gradually negating the need for love outside of yourself. You may have an active social life and still enjoy dating, but you’re no longer afraid to be alone. In fact, you might even enjoy your solitude.

In the third stage of seeking true love, you stop spending so much energy in the quest for it. In doing so, you relinquish the inherent frustration because for the vast majority of people, there’s never going to be that ultimate love partner. You realize that the continual hunt for a better relationship partner in seeking true love almost always results in simply trading one set of good and bad qualities for a different set of good and bad qualities.

Those who enter the third stage of seeking true love share a unique revelation: It’s very difficult for most people, especially the very young, to truly be happy and feel fulfilled for more than five or ten years in a long-term, monogamous relationship. You also accept that most of those exclusive, long-term traditional marriage-like relationships you had in the past were a lot more burdensome on your peace of mind and sense of self than you realized.

It’s important to note that those who experience the third stage of seeking true love often do so after going through a lot of emotional pain and frustration. Perhaps love life trials are sometimes necessary to get to where you’re supposed to be.

The most interesting thing about the third stage of seeking true love is that the expectations of people you date, your relationships, and the rigid relationship rules and traditions tend to become less important, thus you are more likely to find yourself in a more compatible relationship without trying too hard.

For those of you who are stuck in the first or second stage of seeking true love and would like to move to the third stage, we have some suggestions: do everything you can to start looking inside yourself instead of outside in seeking true love; meditate and exercise regularly; read more; consider a new hobby; focus on other parts of life, such as career or volunteer work if you are unhappily single. It may be some time before your love life timing is ripe for a good love relationship, so keep busy to take your mind off of the need for true love until your timing improves.

You may not ever want to be happily single, but you may end up that way in seeking true love.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

The Real Truth About Soul Mates

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One of the most popular topics in the New Age arena, and also in the mundane marketplace, is soul mates. It’s a very lucrative subject for New Age marketers, and they frequently promote the myth that everyone has the perfect match out there somewhere and all you have to do is take a few simple spiritual steps to attract your match and live happily ever after.

It sounds wonderful, but unfortunately this premise is rooted in illusion. The truth can sting a bit at first, but you will ultimately be more successful in your love life if you put aside idealism and high expectations, and that’s why we want to tell you what we’ve found.

The results of our empirical research clearly debunk the concept of “twin flame” or one-and-only soul mates, that another person is your other half, that you too, can live in permanent romantic bliss, just like some New Age promoters claim, if you follow their advice. There are books to be sold! Damn the truth!

The reality is that you have many soul mates, and that each connection is for a different reason. While some are better than others, our findings show that there isn’t a perfect person for you; no soul mate connection is perfect (not even close). In fact, most soul mates are for learning spiritual lessons.

Another major misconception about soul mates is the idea that they should last forever. Alas, this too is pure fiction. Very few are destined to last a lifetime. We realize that the thought of not being able to make a good relationship permanent is unsettling, but you are stronger than you realize; you don’t need a soul mate to be happy. Sure, in some cases you can stay together like roommates, but deep down you know when it’s time to move on.

Another common error in seeking a soul mate is the intent to find a “life partner,” an exclusive, lifetime partnership. Could you imagine approaching friendships like that?

Ronda and Michelle, both heterosexual, married, and entrepreneurs, meet at a party. They hit it off because they have so much in common. Over the next few months, they grow very close. Then, one day Michelle says to Ronda, “Ronda, I want you to commit to a ‘lifetime best friend’ contract with me. I don’t ever want to lose you as my best friend, and if you really value our friendship like I do, you’ll commit to it. Oh, and by the way, you can’t have any other close friends. Only acquaintances.” This type of fear based behavior is not rooted in authentic, unconditional love.

Is there a spiritual reason why everyone has many soul mates instead of just “the One”? We believe there is. Over the course of a lifetime, it’s impossible for one person to meet all your emotional, intellectual, and in many cases, sexual needs, and help you learn all your lessons. Yes, friends can meet some of those needs too, but sometimes fate and karma have something else in store for you.

Despite these truths, you will still find the New Age marketers and inspirational speakers promoting “find your (one and only) soul mate” programs. Why? Pandering to the instant gratification needs of lonely singles who don’t know a lot about soul mates is very profitable, as is pandering to escapism demands; escapism is commonly mistaken for spirituality today.

Ask the soul mate marketers about fate and karma and you’ll get a blank look or they’ll claim, “you can change your fate” with their advice. Really? If so, why don’t they keep a detailed record of all their clients who found their “soul mate,” and those who didn’t, instead of blaming the client for “not being inspired enough” when the find-your-soul-mate plan fails?

Ultimately, your personal karma dictates your love life. While it’s true you can still be happy by making the most of your karma, no amount of inspiration, soul mate seminars, or spells will alter your personal fate (which is the same exact thing as destiny, by the way).

If it’s your fate to go through a decade or more of not having a very good love life, that’s what you’ll have. But your attitude about it can make all the difference in the world. If it’s your destiny to never have a life-long, monogamous connection, and instead have multiple romantic connections, that’s what you’ll have. Again, your outlook is very important, as is dropping idealistic expectations.

It’s okay to have believed in the falsehood of the one and only, forever, perfect soul mate. You’re not alone. After all, everyone is practically programmed from birth due, in part, to fairy-tales and romantic movies. But now you can act on the truth, and you’ll have a much more rewarding and satisfying life in doing so.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

5 Ways to Gain Freedom From Love Life Hell


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Everyone wants to be free of love life problems, but few seem to be able to maintain satisfaction in this area of life.

Though following the advice below may not immediately reward you with the love life you dream about, instead we believe it’s possible to create a good alternative in the meantime; a confident and warm feeling of self-love and appreciation. This will get you through even long stretches of horrible love life timing.

Follow the tips below to help avoid love life hell.

1. Abandon the notion that you have to be in a relationship to be happy and focus on a good relationship with yourself. That’s where it all starts. Once you establish that, and do inner child work and other, similar nurturing of your inner self, you will crave love outside yourself less. While it’s true a solid inner foundation isn’t created overnight, it’s vital you do this. Otherwise, you’ll forever feel emotionally needy and won’t make a decent relationship partner for anyone.

2. Detach from expectations. This is one of the most important things you can do. Write down what you expect in your love life; make a list. It’s perfectly acceptable to have love life desires. Read over your list, then file it away and tell yourself, “Okay, now I’m going to completely let go of any expectations. No more “shoulds.” No more “It’s supposed to be this (or that) way.” What happens when you have no expectations? You’re never disappointed and life gives you pleasant surprises. Granted, the tough part is letting go. Mediation helps.

3. For those of you who are in a relationship, don’t feel the need to attract a new mate, but just want to stop the strife and make the connection the best it can be, consider trying this: stop holding that person accountable to your demands, no matter how reasonable you believe your demands to be. Even if you think he should call you back, for example, within a reasonable amount of time, let it go. Stop making demands, no matter how minor. Just let her be exactly who she is, even if it doesn’t match your ideal. In doing so, you free yourself from love life hell.

4. Take full responsibility for all your actions and personal situations. Own up to it all, and avoid victim consciousness. For example, if you ignore a person’s personality red flags, and allow them to wreck havoc on your life, you are also at fault, from a spiritual perspective.

5. Appreciation and gratitude can make all the difference in the world in your love life. Appreciate exactly where you are in your love life at this time and meditate on what the reward is in that situation. When you’re alone but appreciative, you may just further your intuitive talent, for example, during solitude, which will help you make your future love relationship that much better.

Also, while in a relationship, being appreciative and focusing on current rewards helps you to power through the tough times.

Follow this advice and you’ll never find yourself in love life hell again.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Find Your Soul Mate Now Programs – 5 Signs They Are Too Good To Be True

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You’ve probably come across love life promotions such as, “Hey, vulnerable, uninformed, desperately lonely person, find your soul mate in 30 days or less and delude yourself that you two are even moderately compatible because anyone is better than no one. It’s such a terrible thing to be single, right?”

The offers aren’t phrased quite like that, but they usually include impossible to fulfill promises. You know the type–“Find Your Soul Mate Now!” What they fail to mention is that they’re instructing you how to form more of a business partnership rather than an authentic love connection.

If you really are aiming for only a plain, old legally-binding marriage contract with someone, anyone really, that’s fine. But our findings show, and most rational people realize, that you can’t force love. It happens when it’s supposed to happen, that is, when it’s predestined, or fated to happen. No amount of inspiration, spells, or working on your issues will change that, though those things can sometimes be part of the equation.

Sometimes the offers to attract a mate are so compelling that your balderdash detector temporarily malfunctions. Below we list five signs that an offer to find a soul mate is too good to be true.

1. The marketer (and that’s what they are, above all else) cleverly divulges something like, “It’s perfectly natural to be disappointed, in emotional pain, and frustrated that you haven’t attracted ‘The One’ yet. I was like that too before I willed my soul mate to appear.”

One sure way to know that you’re not ready for a wonderful relationship based on unconditional love is if you can’t stand to be alone and are depressed and beside yourself if you’re not in a relationship. Emotionally needy people simply don’t attract lasting, compatible relationship partners.

2. It’s astonishing that the Soul Mate Marketers tell you that it’s normal to be very unhappily single, yet in the same breath tell you that all you have to do is “work out your issues” to attract a soul mate.

Identifying your issues is one thing, and it goes way beyond simply “monitoring your thoughts” and having a few sessions with a counselor. The idea of actually working through your issues, if they even can be worked out–often times it’s hopeless due to the entrenched nature of many fears and most subconscious defenses–is one borne of excessive optimism.

3. Watch out for marketers encouraging co-dependence masked as “mutual support,” such as with this sort of promise: “Once you connect with your soul mate, your life purpose will be clear, you’ll become one with that person, and you’ll never want for emotional support again. Your shared love will, in itself, be an uplifting service to the world.”

4. Careful of promotions that use language like “call in your soul mate,” which reeks of black magic. It’s fine to use your will for the highest good of all involved, but dark energy spell-casting and manipulating energy and people (i.e., “Gimmie what I want now, even though I haven’t earned it; to hell with karma and fate!”) is a sure way to link yourself–your very soul–to demonic energies and tie your future life karma to demons that will eventually make you pay your way out of their debt. You know the saying: “Get in bed with the devil and you have to–” A “magic portal to love” is one damn, dark, toxic portal. Dabbling with the dark side includes severe consequences. Avoid it and use your energy wisely.

5. One more sign that the offer is too good to be true is that the promotional material includes testimonials from self-appointed “luminaries,” best-selling self-help writers (who are actually their associates–they all shill for each other, and frequently they share the same publisher who arranges the glowing testimonials). These jokers make the same empty promises, with different packaging, veiled in feel-good prose.

Watch for these signs and you’ll never fall for this ruse again. Also, have faith that your personal love life timing will allow for a decent love connection, in time. Meanwhile, do what you’re supposed to do when you’re single: date, have fun, and focus on areas of your life that you won’t be able to once in a serious relationship.

Copyright © 2013 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Cheer Up — 11 Spiritual Tips for Singles on Valentine’s day


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Valentine’s day can be a wonderful day for happy couples. But what about everyone else? We don’t mean to be a downer for those of you who are romance fans, but it can be one of the most depressing days of the year for a large percentage of the population that is single or unhappily involved. Below are some tips to make it a little more bearable.

1) If you’re under the age of 30, be grateful for the time you have to focus on yourself, your goals, and discovering what works for you in a relationship, rather than trying to make one “permanent” at such a young age. Why? Think about how much you changed in your teens, and how people often change a lot in their 20s. People grow and change at different rates, so you likely won’t be as compatible with someone you knew at 20 when you’re 35 or 50.

2) Did someone you love not want to be together anymore? Be grateful they’ve freed you for a more compatible soul mate.

3) Was there “one who got away?” Consider that it wasn’t meant to be and even that it might not have been that great if you had gotten to know each other well.

4) Change the phrase “love of my life,” to “love of my life so far,” in reference to the one you lost, since everyone has multiple soul mates. This won’t make your past lover inconsequential since all relationships are unique and for different purposes. Be excited about other opportunities out there.

5) The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with, but have faith you will meet again, in the afterlife, or in a future life.

If you’re perceptive enough, you may not have to wait and will be able to sense when they check in with or watch over you, and that they want you to move on, be happy, and even meet someone new.

6) Try not to be envious of seemingly happy couples. Appearances are deceiving; you never know what’s really going on behind the scenes, and sometimes one or both of them don’t either. If you could perceive what we do about many couples you might be surprised.

7) Realize that timing is key. If you don’t like your love life, know that love life timing changes; things may be completely different a year from now. Do what you can to improve yourself and your situation now so you’re ready when your fate is more in line with what you want.

8) Accept that self love is far more important than romantic love. You are all you need, even if you don’t realize it yet. Your unique light shines more brilliantly than any star, if only you would accept and nurture it. Respect, appreciate, and treat yourself like you would someone with whom you are deeply in love.

9) Realize you are never really alone. There is so much love on the other side that it’s like every day is Valentine’s day. Meditate regularly to tap into this and you’ll feel more complete on your own.

10) Don’t forget your friends and family. It’s impossible for one person to give you all you need for a long period of time. Many of your friends and family are your platonic soul mates. Tell them how much you cherish them.

11) Consider that being single is underrated. Have you ever noticed that most super-heroes are single? How about wise witches and sages? Or people like Mother Teresa? Your path may require you to be single at times. Once you accept this and learn to enjoy being single, you’ll begin to perceive traditional relationships and dating in a new light.

Copyright © 2013 Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo